Happiness is...

...a decision to appreciate the simple things in life.


This little anecdote popped into my incoming email box this week.  
It's the kind of Round Robin I usually delete at source without opening,
but something about it caught my eye.
It did indeed turn out to be a worthwhile read and something I wanted to share...

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each  morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved  perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. 

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. 

After  many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled  sweetly when told his room was ready. 

As he manoeuvred his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description  of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. 
'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just  been presented with a new puppy. 
'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.' 
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied. 
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. 
Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is  arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. 

I already decided to love it. 

'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; 
I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the  parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful  for the ones that do. 
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day  and all the happy memories I've stored away... Just for this time in my life. 
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. 
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank  account of memories! 


There are five simple rules to being happy: 

1. Free your heart from hatred. 
2. Free your mind from worries. 
3. Live simply. 
4. Give more. 
5. Expect less. 


You see, it turns out that happiness is not something that is the preserve of those with 'perfect' lives, those without obstacles, challenges or hurdles to face.  And yes, there are days where we'd all rather hide away from humanity.  But perhaps 'deciding' to be happy, to adopt a positive mental attitude is part of the answer to appreciating the simpler, yet more important, things in life.


Our children certainly seem to have got the knack of this without any effort haven't they...


Outshining the Bigots



"Do not feed the trolls" @amodmilitarymum
Downs Side Up has reached another learning curve.  
That of the Sociopathic Bigot/Troll's anonymous online comment warfare in relation to an article published by a 'parenting' website in the UK.

We knew there would be critics, but I guess I wasn't prepared for calls for my daughter to be locked away from society, labelled an immeasurable drain on resources, or referred to as someone who should have been aborted 'post-birth'. 

I did not read these comments myself.  I caught the first snippets, quickly got the gist and logged out, afraid of what I might read.  Little bro scanned later and fed back his findings.  

I blah on... the point is that it would have been easy to hit a wall today.  Chuck in the towel, go back to cosy easy-dom.  Not sit blogging til 1am most nights, struggling to learn the rules of Twitter, interacting with other parents on Facebook.  
But what about all the other people this man has upset?  What about all the incredible positive things that people have said to us, the inspirational people we have met along the way?  The attitudes we have changed, the support we have given? WE can't give in to that.

The only way I can describe my thought processes now, is through the words of my dear friend and Doula at my girls' births, Katinka.  She wrote to me tonight:

"You don't need to engage with anything that's not for the greater good and within the energy of love that you are walking this journey... (Ignore this plonker I think she means!)...There are 'small-minded' people everywhere, and when you shine, sometimes you attract shadow. (He was quite some shadow!)  
But you have a choice as to how you let it affect you.  Do you focus on the lives you are changing for the better, the eyes you are opening to the beauty of the 'beyond the immediately apparent' or are you going to give your mind/energy/focus/attention to the shadow and let it suck you in? 
Will you shine even brighter, letting the shadow illuminate your own dark places stronger?  The Hayley I know does the later, brave, fantastic, amazing, vulnerable woman... (her words, not mine ;) )

So do not allow yourself the luxury of dwelling in self doubt, we must all be strong in the belief of our radiance once we start shining...there is no way back...and you are shining!  Brightness attracts more light and focusses the shadow into expression...that's just science.  (Brighter we will become then!)

Keep doing what you are doing darling, it is making waves, which is always a good thing."

Another dear friend Rachel pointed out this morning that "attitudes of bigots may never be changed. What you can change is all the underlying and hidden negativity that many people have.  I am certain that many people have seen Natty's picture and read your story and realised that they had preconceived ideas of what children with Down's Syndrome were like, and now start to see that all children are children, and that children with Down's Syndrome are as varied and talented as children without.

Changing those small misconceptions is massively important.  You are changing attitudes.  You are making a difference."

We will march on with our mission to change attitudes towards Down's Syndrome, we will smile and feel the love from all those we join arms with along the way.  

And this is the last thought we give to the bigots..... We are duty bound to carry on with the mission that has chosen us.








Mia's Mini Blog About her Sister Natty


Mia (7 years) decided that she wanted to write a mini blog post about her experiences of having a sister with Down's Syndrome.  She sat quietly and wrote over the last couple of days.  This is what she produced.  These are her own words, spelling and grammar, even line spacing....


"When my sister Natalia was in hospital
I was very, very woried about her .

Every day I went to see her. i was angry and dissappointed that I could not go in.

When I was aloud to see her was the ONLY
time she looked round when she hird my  voice.

During her operation I was not aloud to see her
which made me very woried because I thought she might have died and if she had died I would have no one to play with.

When she came home I was relived to find the fact
that she was alive and that made me very, very happy.

A few weeks later she was as pretty as a picture and up and runing.
One week after that I remember when I put her diurretix down
the tube.

I thought she was beautiful and she was in my arms
and when ever I talked she would look round at me in a loving way.

A cuple of weeks later she had no tube in her nose and she had a bit of golden hair.

When 3 she was siting up right. [ I use to help her with her exersises]

When 4 she was as strong as me.

Now 5 she is a little pain but she is just as beautiful.

THINGS I FIND HARD ABOUT NATALIA…
She calls my name, but doesn’t asking me anything.
On the stewls  in  the  kitchin  she  asks  to  get  down then asks to get back up again.   
Sometimes when i’m asleep she comes in and wakes me up by sitting on my head!

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT NATALIA
She is beter than any other sister in the hole world. 
She is funy and sily and makes me laugh.
When we go riding I think she is the best rider.
I am proud of her."

Read Mia's poem From One Sister to Another here.


You can buy Mia's book I Love You Natty: A Sibling's Introduction to Down's Syndrome on Amazon here.