Dry by Night - Toiletting Stage 2


Tonight we 'nervously optimistically' kissed Natty goodnight and praised her for being such a big girl for not needing 'sleepy pants' for the second night on the trot (pardon the pun!). 
(Nappies, diapers, pull-ups, dry nites, whatever you call them, be banished.)



It is precisely a year ago that we were in the thick of very concerted toiletting efforts, helping Natty become dry by day. She was due to begin school in September and she was ready. 
And here's is the most important thing to bear in mind with any child; it is not the chronological age that counts, but the developmental stage they are at when attempting this kind of life change. Starting too soon and becoming stressed could backfire. 
So relax, see the funny side, and enjoy your toiletting journey. It will involve accidents, it will involve poo. Buy cheap pants/knickers you can throw away when beyond redemtion, take a plastic bag and several changes of clothing. Pack your sense of humour.

Here is my post about Natty becoming dry during the day, with tips and techniques to help you all. Ode to Potty Training part 1. I also know many parents who have found making a picture timetable useful for providing a visual reminder of the small steps involved in using the toilet.

That stage went pretty well.  Natty started school wearing pants but continued to have the odd accident throughout the year, but then I figure most children do that don't they. We decided to trust her and not look back. Even on long journeys we prepared for accidents, but never once returned to using nappies during waking hours for fear of confusing her.

At bedtime, nappies became named 'sleepy pants', to distinguish them from what she had given up during the day. We bought the pull-up variety that seemed a little more grown up. I made a conscious decision to wait until I saw a sign from Natty that she was ready to relinquish these. I decided not to push or stress about when that moment came, not to compare her to other children, with or without Downs, but to wait for her lead.

2 weeks ago, the moment came. Natty woke with dry sleepy pants and showed me, proud of herself. We knew the bladder control existed. We knew she could do it. We said no more and waited. Several days passed with wet nappies in the morning then another one or two with dry ones. Natty and I had a chat about how grown up she was, and I asked her straight if she wanted to try no sleepy pants like Mia, Mummy and Daddy. She beamed and said yes....  there is nothing like intrinsic motivation.

Other, happy coincidental factors to my decision to start now are that it is summer, we can hang washed bedding out to dry easily, there is no school so the timetable is more relaxed and I am mentally in a place to deal with it. There is no point in trying to do this if you have a lot of other stresses on your plate.

So, we bit the bullet as it were. I've stocked up on bed-protectors to help save the matress's life. You can buy disposible ones or plastic-backed towelling varieties, but you will need them. The White Company sell them. We have a couple of cheap spare undersheets and lots of PJ trousers. Knowing that makes any accident just a quick change of a sheet and PJs and not a major disaster. Prepare for the worst and you will take it all in your stride.

We carried out our usual bedtime routine, but brought the little drink of warm soya milk forward to before story time and not during. We then introduced a 'big girl's second wee' just before lights out. We did this with Mia, and ensures and emptyish bladder as they fall asleep. Natty seemed proud to be invited to do the 'second wee', as if it were part of a big grown up ritual.

The final part of the plan, and one I am less certain about as we never once did this with Natty's elder sister, is lifting her from her slumber to sit her on the loo as we go to bed at around 11pm. I guess this satisfies parent insecurities about the rest of the night to come being dry. I guess one is supposed to phase the lifting out in time. But for now I am going to do it, encouraging Natty to walk back to her bed and snuggle back down. 

Oh, and I nearly forgot the reward of a chocolate drop in the dry mornings!

Anyway, the main thing left to say is; 
Natty, Mummy and Daddy are immensely proud of you.  We'll crack this next step together, however long it takes x





10 Questions for 1 Woman


This week I did a lovely little interview for @MummyRatesIt, which was a great opportunity to share what I do as Downs Side Up.


10 Questions for 1 Woman - Hayley Goleniowska @DownsSideUp




Silent Sundays

Tooth and tears - Sunday 30th September


Natty: model, sister, daughter, friend - Sunday 23rd September

Silent Sunday - Home Ed: 'a' and 's' the kinesthetic way!
Sunday 9th September 2012



Silent Sunday - Mia's Love 2nd September 2012


Silent Sunday Natty's modelling debut with Frugi 26th August 2012

Silent Sunday Shhh, don't tell mum 19th August 2012

Silent Sunday Family volleyball 12th August 2012


Silent Sunday 29th July - Hush Little Cousin x




Silent Sunday 22nd July '12 - Sisters in the Sun






Silent Sunday 15th July '12 - Junk Robot.







Silent Sunday 8th July '12 - Cycling!

Down Syndrome Research Foundation


Hayey Goleniowska,
creator of www.downssideup.com





















I'm Hayley, the Mum of 2 beautiful girls, the youngest of whom, Natty, has Down's Syndrome.  I've been asked to share my thoughts on the work that the Down Syndrome Research Foundation do.
When your baby is born with any kind of health issue or disability, the first hurdle you are faced with is coming to terms with the news, which is often a great shock. Bonding can often be compromised at this stage, as parents mourn the healthy baby they were expecting before they move on to accept and love the one they have.  They must all wonder at some stage too, whether they are up to the challenge of bringing up a child with additional needs. Your mind is filled with worry and fear and guilt. Will the baby survive? Is she suffering? Would it be better for her if she didn't survive?
I don't recall looking much beyond this initial stage when Natty was born, beyond the holes in the heart, the surgery on the horizon. But one thing was for sure, I knew that the medical teams available to her were second to none, and that the procedures they had at their disposal were the very finest around.

Over the first year Natty won our hearts, learnt to breastfeed despite being initially tube-fed and grew stronger, despite frequent visits to hospital with upper respiratory infections or pneumonia.  Each time she was treated expertly, with an open-door policy befitting of her vulnerability. We never once doubted the knowledge and resources behind the medical teams.

As Natty flourished and was ill less often, I suppose our focus turned to her developmental milestones, helping her crawl and walk , babble and talk.  These were the areas that would make her like any other child and all this she has done with a little extra help and patience, but her legendary aplomb.  She is a little whirlwind, who grabs life with both hands and is now reaching her full potential in all areas; reading, writing, making relationships, riding, swimming, even clothes modelling.  But we need to make sure that this always remains the case. We now need to turn our attentions to what lies ahead of us on this road less trodden.

This is where the charity DSRF do amazing work.  Because it is the health issues that our children might face as they grown into adults that perhaps need more understanding and research.  They are first and foremost our children, not a medical group, but many conditions are common to people with Down's Syndrome and it is those we need to understand more fully if our younsters, that have got off to a flying start are to continue to soar.

Personally, I would like to understand the prevention, detection and treatment of Thyroid problems, coeliacs disease and diabetes, particularly sub clinical cases.  Can any of these be headed of with a preventative diet for example?  I have dabbled in the use of dairy and gluten free diet when trying to reduce musuc and associated glue ear.  It seemed to work and head off an operation to insert gromits at the time, but 'seeming to work' is hardly empirical evidence is it. Was it coincidence or is this a really useful tool for children in that situation?

Likely eye disorders have been mentioned by our opthalmologist with little or no explanation, and I would like to know if my child should be being tested regularly for Leukemia.

I am also fascinated by the infuence of nature versus nurture on the development of all children, but particularly those with DS.  How much of their IQ is determined by the extra chromosome, and how much by external factors such as diet, family and upbringing, even vitamins and supplements taken by a mother during pregnancy, or in a concentrated for in later life.  I don't know of any longitudinal studies covering such a vitally important area.

Most of all, I fear early onset Alzeihmer's for Natty, and I welcome recent research into the genetic causes of this form of dementia in adults with Down's Syndrome.  If safe medication could be found to ward off this degenerative condition, I can't think of many families who wouldn't welcome it. I hope that the DSRG can help bring about pioneering trials in this field.

As I look forward to our daughter's future I would love to see a time where all her health needs are met fully.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to see specialist nurses or support workers, trained to work with adults with learning disabilities, available to all.  They would be there to draw all strands of the medical profession together, to mediate and work between the patient and their medical professionals, able to converse in Makaton, explain new or strange concepts, and the reasons why regular checks for chronic diseases and routine tests such as cervical smears are done. Their job would be to bring the patient to those appointments as necessary.  

All this is vital if we are to support independent living for adults with Down's Syndrome, leading them towards happy healthy lifestyles. After all it is that extra little chromosome that gives our children the extra factor. Let's do everything we can to preserve that.