Hayley - this is a letter I wrote to my friends about a week after Luke was born. It was my intention to put it up on Facebook but in the end it felt too raw, and I just showed it to one of my closest friends. The photo of all three kids was taken last November when Luke was 11 months
Thank you for all your wonderful and kind wishes on Luke's arrival. Our third child appeared in another of our house's fine bathrooms - unlike Matilda's birth it was planned and controlled - but speedy nonetheless. These water closets definitely seem to hold a portal to another world.
Our unqualified joy was jolted pretty extensively half an hour later when a very tense midwife broke it to us that she thought that there was a very strong likelihood that Luke has Downs Syndrome. A week later we have now had the first genetic tests results back and there seems little doubt about this.
With those two small words - nine months of hopes, dreams and expectations are shattered in an instant. Poor Henry passed out - as much from extreme heat with all the radiators running full blast as the shock of the news. Luke and I were then transferred to hospital where they could run tests and monitor his early days. The staff at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary have naturally been amazing - warm, caring and compassionate.
I am afraid I haven't felt much like speaking to people this last week - so apologies for not taking calls or returning messages. The huge overwhelming wave is gradually subsiding. In my normal vanity I like to feel kick ass and in control - but instead I have felt very small and confused.
So we are now one week on. It has been good just to hang out with Luke in our very comfortable room - being waited on hand and foot - hospital food notwithstanding. I have totally had it with steamed puddings and custard.
Luke as you see from the pictures is a very sweet and beautiful boy. Poppy and Matilda are over the moon with their new brother and cannot contain their excitement. Even my mother - who is not normally inclined towards babies - is utterly smitten.
So in spite of the sadness the family are excited to be starting a new and exciting adventure.