Bernie Bradley

• • I'm married woman, I am a civil servant I am Irish, I am a mother with a daughter with Down's syndrome, I have a gay best friend who will wed soon. I have my own social security number, I work full time and enjoy (mostly) a good lifestyle. 
    
    
    I will be 40 in August a milestone indeed what a different world it was in August 1973. Had I been a female 40 year old Irish civil servant in 1973 Ireland, I would not have had a job ( the marriage ban was still in place and I would have been forced to leave work after I got married.) I would not have my own social security number, identified only by a "W" on the end of my husbands social security number. 
    
    
    My daughter may or may not be living with me,perhaps she may have been placed in care, not seen as worthwhile, she certainly wouldnt be receiving the help to support her development that she receives today and my best mate would most definetly be living life in the closet and most definetly not getting married. 
    
    Many of the changes that happened in 40 years I take for granted, and I rarely think of the people who went before me who battled hard for me to enjoy the life I enjoy now. The womens movement in Ireland fought hard to get the marriage ban lifted and they were successful. In late 1973 a female civil servant could remain in a job after marriage. 
    
    
    Human rights groups fought hard to remove the criminal status of homosexuality and were successful, in 1993 it was no longer illegal to be homosexual in Ireland. From the mid 1980's women received their own social security number. Services, supports and awareness of people with disabilitiy has grown enormously in the past 40 years and people with physical, sensory, learning disabilities are enjoying a much better quality of life than previous generations.
    
    
    The ins and outs of how these changes are for another day, but what is important is that people fought and fought hard to change things, they didnt get it easy, it was a hard slog they met battles all the way, prejudice, arrogance, ignorance and in most cases simple fear. Many of the opposers to change were politicians, fearing change, fearing the loss of votes never wanted to rock the boat.
    
    Collin Brewer made the headlines for his hideous comments about people with disability, incredulous statements about the burden of a child with a disability. The bad side of public representation is that its mostly the Collin Brewers that make the headlines, for every Collin Brewer with his ridicuous statements you can be sure there are ten Champions of Equality slogging away trying to change things, but never hitting the headlines, Controversy sells!
    
    But I have learned to be thankful for the Collin Brewers of this world,
    (and there are many of him, too many) What he has done and what his likes will always do is to create a platform for the positive story to emerge, you see we now live in a world where Collin Brewers statements are just not acceptable, people will not sit back and listen to his spout such venom, he will and is being challenged. Social media and a new generation is his worst enemy, You see from the moment he uttered those words, he had lost, and his loss is the world of equality's gain. 
    
    
    So Mums & Dads of babies & children with a disability dont get mad get replying! Now is the time, Mr Brewer has given you all centre stage , he in his ignorance has put the spotlight on disability and it is shinning bright so go get him xxxx
    and when you're all done with him can you all come to Ireland and help me, Mr Brewer has plenty of protoypes in the Emerald Isle!
• 
  

Let's Pull Together and celebrate our children

"When a light shines brightly, shadows appear darker, they come out fighting. We must keep shining bright and drown them out."

Please join us to write, and write with integrity, to show the world how this man has upset us and just how incredible our children are. That we wouldn't change them for the world.

It's been a fraut, emotional and upsetting week.
The comments of an all-too local Councillor have been impossible to ignore.
And finally John Pring from Disability News Service gave Collin Brewer enough rope to metaphorically hang himself from. Please do not read the article if you are easily upset.

I have started at least 4 posts on the subject, each deleted and scrapped for one reason or another. I feel that Brewer, and a small minority of others like him are nothing but trolls, albeit trolls in the public eye with a microphone in their paws. And my motto is always to starve trolls of oxygen, not fuel their craving for publicity at any cost. If we stoop to their level they have won.

But this man we cannot ignore, we cannot allow him to remain in power (however minor that power might be).

Many have written succinctly over the weekend about Brewer's latest interview, including journalists far more qualified than I. I felt it futile to write another post about his comments and how they echo of Nazi propaganda. I found it hard to write without anger and hurt in my voice. There had to be a gentle effective Downs Side Up way...

So I spent the last few days writing to as many human rights and disability campaigners as I have ever had the pleasure to meet.

Their replies have been heartwarming and calming and I now feel ready to act in my own way against this monster. The positive slant I have chosen to emply doesn't detract from my anger. But there are many ways of skinning a cat so to speak.

1) Sadly complaining to the Council and signing ePetitions are not going to work as no-one appears to have the power to sack Brewer. I have accepted this and will now work in a legal direction. I have asked national disability groups to take this up for us. We have some very high profile people on board. A multi party group of local councillors have written their concern.

2) We must bear in mind that the majority of people are good, loving and accepting of difference. Only a tiny minority, such as Brewer exist. Furthermore, the man is ill and may be displaying signs of mental degeneration or incapacity. It is difficult not to become disillusioned and depressed at times like this but we must focus on our amazing children.

3) We need to show the world what we all know, that individuals with disabilites contribute as fully to society as everyone else.
Let's all flood our local media outlets with wonderful, positive, inspiring stories of the achievements of those with disabilities. Get in touch with your local paper about an event, sporting or for a charity and an individual who has done something news worthy. A person's worth can never be measured in pound coins.

4) If you blog, please join our linky here. I'm calling all the amazing bloggers I know, who write with integrity and intelligence to join together. 

It might be how the Brewer affair has left you feeling, it might be be how amazing your child is. It might be a nugget of support for other parents, a poem or a religious word. Please keep all posts respectable and let's join together in a wave of support for each other, a way of showing the world that Cllr Brewer is utterly wrong. I for one don't want to come out screaming like a banshee.

Number 10 Downing Street

It's been a wonderful, emotional, tiring, inspiring, proud day.
I'm a little emotionally drained to be honest but I want to share a few pics from No.10 Downing Street visit with you straight away.
I will fashion a proper post when home and on the pc.

Invite to Number 10 Downing Street

I may have forgotten to mention, well it's been a bit of a week, that I have had an invite to No.10 Downing Street.

There wasn't much time to get hair fixed or a new outfit. The nails will have to do and I've only just found time to Google the folk I will be meeting.

Mencap have invited a few of us, those who work in the Learning Disability field, to meet Samantha Cameron. Yep, the PM's wife.

I will try to tell her of our fears in a polite way, if I get a chance. I might even mention the thorn in Cornwall's side, he of the unmentionable name.

For now... the bag is packed. Passport. Check. Invite. Check. Heels. Check. Reading matter. Check. Smartest frock and jacket I own. Check.

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. 

H x

I'm going to Britmums Live. Come and say Hi

This sounds ridiculous, but attending Britmums Live last year was one of the high points of my entire life.

I was terrified about going, a country girl from Cornwall who is happier in wellies and playing with my chickens. I'm uncertain in London, a fish out of water. I knew no-one other than a couple of chats online with Kateonthinice and RenataBPlus3.

I had been asked in advance if I would read at the keynote speeches (on a stage in front of lots of accomplished writers!) YIKES!

I was also shortlisted in the Inspire category of the BiBs. Again a very scary and proud moment.

Well, in a nutshell I arrived, terrified and shaky, the butterflies met me and put me at my ease. I wandered around looking for those I might know, staring at stands and feeling overwhelmed, looking at a timetable of workshops that I couldn't decide between because I needed them all. 

This feeling didn't last long, everyone was so supportive and friendly, and once the naked wine buffs came out in the evening, I had found Kate and Renata to share a giggly glass of Prosecco and the awards ceremony with. So many of those I had voted for won, the mood was electric.

A small group of us went for a lovely dinner afterwards and then the all important full night's sleep in a hotel by myself :)

The next day was one of serious note-taking. I felt like a student who wanted to gain every last drop of knowledge from the speakers. But the nerves about reading at the keynote were mounting. I recall several chats with lovely people who told me I'd be fine. Darling HerMelnessSpeaks being one of them and I will never forget how her confidence in me made me feel.

Well, it came to the speech. It was emotional. I shook so hard I thought I was going to faint. I cried. People brought me tissues. People cried. I stopped, caught my breath, repeated my message. Then there was a standing ovation. I just saw it start in front of my eyes, which have tears in them remembering the moment. I have never felt so surprised or proud in my whole life. I didn't even know I had in in me to get on that stage. DoingItAllForAlenya helped me walk back to my chair and held me tight until I stopped shaking and crying.

In short, leaving my children for the first time with my ever so capable husband and doing something completely for me since the birth of my children, not just a relxing treat but something that made my brain shake alive was a turning point for me. I can trully say tha Brimums changed my life forever and I will never look back. Read Thank You For Having Me which I wrote in the post Britmums Live glow, when they gave me a Blogger of the Week award.

Well this year the wonderful ladies at Britmums have asked me to speak, or at least be on a panel during an actual workshop. I'm not sure if I feel a bit of a fraud, but I hope you will enjoy joining us.

And my humble blogette has been shortlisted in 3 BiBs categories this year: Inspire, Commentary and Outstanding. 

And oh goodness, I am just as nervous this year as I was last year...

This is me:

Name: Hayley Goleniowska

Blog: Downs Side Up

Twitter ID: @DownsSideUp

Height: Petite

Hair: 75% grey and costing increasingly more to keep a natural 'mouse' colour ;)

Eyes: Grey/blue, often red and tired!

Is this your first blogging conference?

Last year I was an utter novice, so this is my second.

Are you attending both days?

Absobloominlutely! I live in Cornwall so I have to make it worth the trip. 

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2013?

2 full nights' sleep! 

Meeting the bloggers that have become close friends online. Meeting new and inspiring bloggers that I hope will become life-long friends. The sense of support from all at Britmums is tanglible.

Actually taking part in one of the panel discussions alongside some incredible bloggers who are my gurus.

What are you wearing?

Comfy yet trendy for the day and killer heels for the party. Really not quite sure exactly what yet though. I'll just be myself.

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2013?

To gently change a few more perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within hearts.

I really need to learn how to be a bit more techy. I am such an accidental blogger.

I also want to publish a book shortly, so need to make contacts for that.

Tell us one thing about you that not everyone knows

I was the voice of the Cheats Mistress on a Games Walkthrough Guides and Cheats hotline. My Lara Croft-esque avatar had a leather mini dress on (perhaps I should wear it to Britmums!)

Silent Sunday

Tom Tag Review

Tom Tag is a fantastic new SEN product from Orkid Ideas.The lovely Deborah there sent us a set to play with and review.

Essentially there are 5 differently coloured tags, each with 6 empty slots that house discs that you are free to customise with a large selection of stickers.

The idea is that the tag for each day can be attached to a child's school bag and help them with packing for that day and to provide a handy visual timetable summary.

There are also stickers with the names of the days of the week on them, so you can label each day's tag.

As Natty is only 6 and primary school life doesn't have the timetables changes one would expect to see in secondary school, I decided to use the tags slightly differently.

I made each tag a different theme: clothing, hobbies, food, days of the week.

I was then able to use each tag to provide a sentence model for speech therapy exercises.

"I like singing/swimming/ballet/writing." 

"I'm wearing a coat/an apron, shoes."

I'm eating an apple/sandwhiches/a banana." for example. 

Natty repeated the phrases while I pointed to each sticker.

We were then able to use the tags for a memory game. Children with Down's Syndrome have poor working memory skills and need practice in this area.

We looked at the 5 or 6 stickers on a tag for a while. Then I removed one and Natty had to tell me which one was missing.

Mia got home from school and immediately made up her own game. She mixed up the stickers randomly onto a tag and then challenged herself to tell a story using all those items. "After eating a banana I went horse riding in the morning. Someone was playing the recorder in the background..." etc

I think the tags will be great for older children, helping them become more independent as they move around their school timetable. I would like stickers that show all the self care routine steps in the morning, such as washing and tooth brushing. I could then do away with the large velcro visual timetable on our bathroom wall!

But I also think the tag system would be fabulous for older people with memory loss to help with everyday activities. A neighbour of ours has trouble remembering the stages of tea making for example following a brain bleed. Her husband said a tag with stickers showing the different stages would be invaluable to them.

So, a great product with many possible applications. Useful for everyone. It might even help me get organised! Thank you Orkid Ideas.

This is not a sponsored post.

Walkers Wholegrain Hoops and Crosses Review

You know me folks, I don't do reviews unless it's really relevent to the SEN world or something our girls would really enjoy.

Well, along came the chance to try some new healthy, tasty, wholegrain snacks from Walkers via Tots100 and, as diet is of the utmost importance to me, I thought we'd say yes and give them a whirl. Fibre and wholegrain is vital for Natty as she suffers with a sluggish digestive system.

A box arrived in the post for the girls. They eagerly opened it (who doesn't like receiving actual post).

Inside, a cheeky monkey, an educational board book about wholegrains and a sample packet of roast beef Hoops and Crosses.

The girls just managed a quick game of noughts and crosses with the crisps before devouring them in seconds. I think we can safely say they were a hit.

The crisps had a stronger flavour than any product I usually buy for the girls tuck boxes or after school snacks, but as they have only 85 calories, 56% wholegrain and no artificial colours or preservatives, I will buy them again. They also come in Prawn Cocktail and Salt and Vinegar, each suitable for vegetarians.

Perhaps cheese and tomato pizza flavour would be nice too...

This was a sponsored review for Walkers crisps.

The Gallery - The Weekend

I love joining in with The Gallery over at Sticky Fingers Blog each week. It's a great way to visit new blogs and meet new bloggers too.

This week's topic is The Weekend and here's Daddy Downs Side Up on a bear hunt with Natty and Pippin... Read about how we turned the trip into a learning experience here.

Shame on you Collin Brewer

Shame on you Collin Brewer not shame on Cornwall.
In summary: a Local Councillor in Cornwall said (in the heat of the moment, when knackered and after a stroke that appently affects his temper) that children with disabilities SHOULD BE PUT DOWN.

I took a breath, raised my eyebrows and we all urged him to give up his post. 
Although many were furious, some even baying for blood, we all know people that say things they shouldn't from time to time. Poor bumbling buffoon we thought, so devoid of love and compassion in his life, so unaware of the wonders our children bring to our lives.

But embarrassing uncles saying things they shouldn't at weddings is one thing, a bigot with a microphone in his hand and in the public spotlight, weilding power, albeit in a small constituency in Cornwall is a dangerous thing. 

He and his wife entered a pub for a drink. Those present fell silent and everyone turned their backs. The majority in is town were shunning him.

The fact that he is an Independent candidate (and this is not about politics for a millisecond) means that he is aligned with no particular party and cannot be sacked.
But he did resign (under sufference and a very very hard hitting radio interview with Laurence Reed on BBC Radio Cornwall). 

We collectively breathed a sigh of relief, despite his reluctance to go he had seen sense at last. We could stop worrying about the riots that we feared might ignite, those turning up on his doorstep who were less forgiving than I.

He would surely disappear into the ether and lick his wounded pride...

Or would he?

Apparently 3 cards from wellwishers and a handful of local chums persuaded him to join a disability charity, work with local families to make amends, stand again as Councillor.

Now don't even begin to ask which 'well-we-do-the-same-with-our-cows' constituents voted for him (sadly I am quoting one gentleman) but he got voted in on Friday, winning the Wadebridge East seat by a gnat's whisker of 4 votes. 

There was a recount. There were boos from some present. The disbelief amongst fellow candidates, journalists and media was tangible.

I can't get angry, I have much bigger fish to fry, but I will play my part in seeing this fool removed from office. For he is embarrassing us here in Cornwall, the world convinced his attitude is 'just part of behind-the-times-thinking which we country bumpkins have down here', which is simple not true. 

The community here is Cornwall is nothing short of warm and supportive. Everyone looks out for each other and more importantly accepts each others quirks and differences. Here in Cornwall is truthfully the only place in the UK that no-one ever stares at Natty, then me as if to see how old I am, then back at her to see how 'affected she is by the condition'. 

The public at large are outraged by Brewer's arrogance and smugness upon re-election. He is still stating that he did nothing wrong. Perhaps we could forgive and move on if he said he was wrong and deeply sorry. I spent 10 minutes calming down a very angry postman on Friday, who knocked on the door to tell my husband and I how upset he and his wife are for families like ours, how angry is he that smug Brewer is back in.

Then there was the young window cleaner who told me he 'wanted to deck him'. I couldn't possibly comment on that.

The egg farmer thanked me for all I am doing to get Brewer out, because, it turns out his neice has Down's Syndrome and he said I spoke for the whole of his family, saying what they couldn't put into words for anger. 

And so you see, the entire cross section of Cornwall is pretty fed up with the bad press this guy is bringing us. Not to mention those who say they won't visit because they fear their children being treated badly on holiday here.

And to those who say 'it was only a throw away comment', 'he didn't mean it' you are agreeing that our children are second class citizens, that such comments don't matter because they have a disability, they are assumed not to have a voice. Well these comments do matter, as much as the terrible racist jokes that filled sitcoms in the 70s as I grew up. They were only 'having a laugh' back then too weren't they... 

Already 92% of all babies disgnosed as having Down's Syndrome during pregnancy are terminated by terrified parnets who recieve little or no support in what to expect. Yes Mr Brewer, put down. Do you begin to see why the comments are so real and so painful?

For those who think we campaigning for his removal are sh%t stirring, I guess you have it almost correct. Not stirring, but trying to remove the dirt from our shoes. Freshen up and move on. Sometimes you simply have to make a stand for what is right. When we shine light brighly into dark corners the shadows always become darker, and they usually protest. Read Outshining the Bigots here.

I've written a couple of open letters to Collin, which you can read here and here.

There's an ePetition to sign here.

I discovered the online complaints form for Cornwall County Council. Pop over and tick the first 5 boxes, mention Collin Brewer and his unacceptable comment, which was witnessed by Disability Cornwall and mention where you are from. I'm sure we can lodge more complaint than the 335 votes he received.

There's also a demonstration at County Hall in Truro on Wednesday morning if you want to peacefully show your feelings.

My interview with Pirate FM news is aired on Tuesday.

I've written to everyone I know at Westminster and every journalist I have ever worked with and every disability group I know worldwide.

We'll keep you posted.

Thank you for your support.


I leave you with Natty's thoughts on the matter Mr Brewer:

Downs Side Up is shortlisted in Inspire, Outstanding and Commentary sections of the 

Brilliance in Blogging Awards. You can vote for us here:

Turning a day trip into a learning activity for your child with Down's Syndrome

Here's how you can maximise on the learning potential of a simple weekend trip to the woods with your kids, a train journey or in fact any fun day out.

The bank holiday is coming to a close and it's been lovely. Nice weather, time out together as a family and no-one was ill. After the end to end chest infections of the Easter holidays that was really welcome.

We got out as much as we could, some of it in our garden, watering our veggies and making obstacle courses with all the toys, and a couple of trips.

We don't always have time, or the energy (we are not super parents!) but we often 'top and tail' any trip with related activites designed to maximise vocabulary learning and consolidation of any skills learnt. It's a very brain-friendly way of teaching your child and they won't even realise that's what you are doing.

For example:

Today we went for a walk in the woods with the dog. It was a 3km walk which I knew would be a long way for Natty and that she would try to give up and make us carry her. 

First

We dug out our old favourite book We're Going on A Bear Hunt and read it together. It's a lovely repetitive story and we all shouted out the strapline: 

'We're going on a bear hunt, we're going to catch a big one, we're not scared.' 

We told Natty we were going on a bear hunt together and she read the story to herself in the car en route.

Then

Once at the woods we started our walk as usual, but all the way round we were looking for evidence of bears. 

We found brown bear poo (It was brown so it had to be...)

Twigs broken by bears, thick forest where they were sure to live and then...

The bear cave itself! The girls explored inside and then pretended to be bears, chasing each other out.

We picked dandelions and daisies and left them for the bear to eat. Constantly working on new vocabularly and Natty's pronunciation.

Finally:

When we arrived home we chatted about our adventure and the girls drew a picture of the bear and his cave.

Put simply, whatever outing you do with your child with a Learning Disability, do a little activity first, plan a simple activity to do during the trip and then follow up with a related story or piece of art afterwards, it could even be a themed DVD if they are tired.

Happy exploring!

We have just signed up to the National Trust 50 Things To Do Before You're 11 3/4. There are fabulous outdoorsy activities to try each weekend andmost are completely free. They range from rolling down a hill to den building, net fishing and cooking on a camp fire. With each one you try you fill in a form and get awards and badges. You can eve log photos in your online scrapbook.

Silent Sunday

Collin Brewer: Re-elected but not welcome.

Dear Collin Brewer

Around 2 months ago a huge mistake you made came to light.

In your role as local councillor you made a hot-headed comment that 'children with disabilities should be put down'. Apparently you were angry. Apparently you were stressed.

Now anyone in public office; teachers, ministers, police officers, councillors and so on should never entertain such notions, let alone say them aloud. My brain wouldn't know how to begin to form such an insult, whatever the circumstances in which it was used.

The world got wind of this leak of your outdated and bigoted thinking and was outraged. Not just the disability community, but any person with an ounce of decency felt emotions ranging from anger to fury to sadness and disappointment.  They rallied on radio shows and internet sites to tell stories of love and positivity about family members with disabilities.

When I say the world, I don't simply mean your world of Wadebridge East. As a local disability writer and campaigner I watched as groups as far away as Australia and America demanded your resignation. Many wanted you formally charged, others wanted to confront you personally.

I personally rolled my eyes in your direction, and thought you a buffoon, a dinosaur and a sad individual who has yet to understand the value of those with disabilities within our lives and communities. I wrote you a carefully considered and balanced letter which I doubt you read, explaining the wonder our daughter Natty, who has Down's Syndrome brings to the entire family and everyone she meets. I pointed out your naiivety at turning a blind eye to public opinion.

I admitted that you were not a Geoffery Clark in my eyes, a man with a manifesto of hatred, but a man wholly unsuited to the office you were clinging stubbornly onto despite a glowing past.

Then you resigned after a hard-hitting interview live on the Laurence Reed show.

The world sighed a sigh of relief.

What you don't realise Collin Brewer is that at that time I and many of those in the media were concerned for your mental wellbeing. We worried how you would cope with your long and fruitful career ending in such a hateful way. We worried about your self-esteem, your mental health and, to be frank, your personal safety. And here is the thing, we actually did much to protect you from the wrath you had created for yourself. We smoothed things over, telling people to forget you if they could not forgive you, to move on and pour their energies into more positive work to improve the lives of those with disabilities.

We held back on interviews and publishing more information about you. We assumed you had slipped quietly away to lick your wounded pride and perhaps redress the hurt you had caused so many by doing some voluntary work or fundraising for Disability Cornwall (to an employee of whom you had made your fateful comment).

But no.

We were all shocked into silence that you decided to stand again for election this May.

The audacity, the arrogance, and again, the ignorance that the world  was watching and waiting.

The results have just been counted and you have won by a whisker, 4 votes if I'm not mistaken. Who these people who voted for you are do not matter. They may have been oblivious to your comments in the first place.

The worlds disability groups will now be joining force.

The Gallery: Self Portrait

Natty and I took a walk on the beach in early Autumn 3 years ago. The visitors had gone and the shadows were long. You can just see the beach huts behind us.

We snuggled together and I took this snap on my phone, but I love how we are squished together.

My first vlog: The end of an era

The baby phase is long gone. Now I've had to accept that the cuddly toddler and beyond phase is to be packed up and put away too.

For Natty, who grows and develops at her own gentle pace, this has extended to 6 years, but I finally had to face the fact that she had grown out of many of her firm favourites. The clothes that had been worn while so many memories were made. We affectionately call them her 'trusty steads'.

Last week I read a touching post by Ross Mountney: Parenting - What Really Matters. about appreciating and enjoying our children while they are young, even if those phases are the toughest, for it simply does pass too quickly.

So please join me for my first ever vlog, about packing away that phase and looking ahead to pastures new. I'm rather nervous about it and would love any feedback you have.