A Thought for the Many Types of Mummy on Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a bit like Christmas Day in that each family has their own special way of celebrating it.
There are your particular traditions and histories, memories and emotions behind them all.

I have been a Mummy for just over 10 years now and, along with our girls' birthdays it is always a time to reflect on our journey of parenthood. The happiness, the love, the worry, the hamster wheel of exhaustion, the lessons learned, the giggles and tickles, the battles of will, the grey hairs gained, the way Motherhood changes you immeasurably for the better...

Growing up, Mother's Day was always a special service in church, followed by a large roast lunch and presents and cards for Mum. There were the simple gifts of daffodils and hyathinths had usually been planted in pots weeks earlier during Sunday School. And just writing this brings back the smell of the musty little room we prepared those floral tributes to our Mummies in all those years ago.

I suppose we've taken on similar traditions in our house too, although we are not regular church-goers and would typically instead go for a walk on the beach or in the woods, then fill our tummies with a roast dinner in our local eatery before watching a family film together on the sofa. My husband always helps the girls choose little presents and factors in some Mummy alone time, usually in the form of a peaceful lie-in and sometimes a massage or a facial as well.

My mum lives 6 hours away, so we won't be able to share the day with her. We've sent our gift and card and will chat to her of course, then...

Suddenly I realised in a heartbeat that, again like Christmas, Mother's Day is not always a perfect, happy chocolate box occasion for everyone...

I am thinking of those who are single Mums of tiny ones, with no-one to organise the treat or time out they so richly deserve. The widows too, whose sorely missed husbands helped create their beautiful families and make them Mothers, for whom Mother's Day must also be an emotional marker in time.

I extend the hand of support to Mums for whom parenting brings unsurmountable challenges, where each day is a struggle to keep afloat.

I am thinking of those who's relationships with their mothers have broken down for whatever reason. Tomorrow will be a time of 'what ifs' and 'whys' if not anger and resentment.

I am thinking of the women who arms ache for a baby or child lost, or those who are not able to conceive, those who have lost babies or children at whatever age ot those who watch their little ones as they stay in hospital on this day.

'Being a Mum is a priviledge and not a right after all.'

Then there are the stand-in Mummies, the adoptive and foster Mummies, the Grandmas who bring up their grandchildren, the carers who might take on the lion's share of a child's care. We thank you too.

So, let's all count the blessings we have, and appreciate and celebrate Mummies in all their forms, for  we do not conform to a Clinton's Card template. To each and every one of you I shake your hand, pat you on the back and give you a bear hug.

I phoned my best friend in the world just now, she has just adopted a little boy, to tell her how very proud I am of her on her first Mother's day. For the love that being a mummy brings does not always grow within your womb, but instead in your heart. Her journey of motherhood has been long and emotional and difficult, but finally a beautiful little boy has found his forever family.

So if you are planning a perfect Mothering Sunday with breakfast in bed and lunch cooked for you, some remaxing time out and all your children and a loving partner around you, you might just be in the minority. Enjoy it, savour every moment.

Perhaps Mother's Day is just as much about thanking our children for making us the Mummies we are.  
H x


  1. Daddy is away here too climbing mountains. I'm to sit on the sofa whilst the 7 yr old makes me breakfast and looks after the 3yr old at the same time - because "i'll just multi-task like you mummy!". But I'll also be sad because my mum has just had surgery and being there with the kids really wouldn't be relaxing for anyone!

    1. How mature and wonderful your 7 year old sound. I wish you mum a speedy recovery x

  2. My mother's managed to arrange a present and card from my 4yr old, who has very carefully written Mummy on it. I'm a single parent and I would love for a bit of me time. But I am glad that I have my daughter to love me and I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy Mother's Day Hayley, may your day be full of smiles and laughter and the warmth only children can give you.
    Much love <3

  3. You are so thoughtful ;) lovely post xxx hope you have a fab mother's day xx

  4. This is a difficult day for so many - in our adoptive family it is one of the hardest and most sensitized days of the year as it brings dilemma and paradox of many kinds, and often anger - i blogged about this myself. This is little understood or recognised, and I felt very touched to read about the difficulties for others.
    Happy Mother's day from us - you are a remarkable woman. Mx

  5. I've been given a beautiful homemade card from the girls, the baby and I went to church, and we did have a roast lunch but wee Kitty has horrible chicken pox so my mothers' day is mostly about being a Mama and smothering a tiny girl in calamine. Whilst I wish she wasn't sick I'm not sure I'd have it any other way.


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