Tell Your Children Together
Many parents worry about how they should tell their children that they divorcing. My advice is always that you should tell your children together. You may not have felt very united recently but for the sake of your children sit down together and plan what you want to say to them and offer them some simple reassurances as this is an important moment in their lives.
Try to tell them after you both have had time to recover from the initial impact of the divorce issue yourselves. It is understandable to show sadness when discussing the issue but you should make sure that you are in a good place yourself first not feeling too tearful, angry or overwhelmed. Get grounded, centred and composed and provide reassurances to your children that while things will change things will be alright.
If possible, give your children time to digest the information and deal with their emotions. Don’t rush them and make sure you won’t be interrupted by your mobile phone or an unexpected event and never tell them before important events or a special day.
Occasionally, you may discover that your children are relieved that you are getting divorced. This can happen when they have witnessed arguments or even violence that has been upsetting to them. However, be aware that your children may still have negative feelings about the divorce that need to be processed. Each family member will have a different starting point and will go though the process in their own time and in their own way. I always remind parents that divorce is a process NOT an event so make sure that you keep an eye on each of your children and be ready for follow up questions, when they want to talk, not always when you want to.
Sue Atkins is an internationally recognised Parenting Expert, Broadcaster, Speaker and Author of the Amazon best selling books "Parenting Made Easy – How To Raise Happy Children” & “Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series as well as author of the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She has just launched the 1st in her series of Parenting Made Easy apps for iPhones and iPads – The Secrets To Well Behaved Kids https://itunes.apple.com/app/sue-atkins-parenting-made/id439743586?mt=8
Sue offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, resilient children from toddler to teen & specialises in using her “5 Step Self Esteem Solution” with families to boost long term self esteem & self confidence.
She regularly appears on the award winning flagship ITV show “This Morning”, BBC Breakfast and “The Jeremy Vine Show” on BBC Radio 2 and is the parenting expert for many BBC Radio Stations around the UK. She is a regular contributor on radio and TV and her parenting articles are published all over the world.
Sue Atkins is an internationally recognised Parenting Expert, Broadcaster, Speaker & Author. Sue is a regular contributor on radio and TV & her parenting articles are published all over the world. Sue brings her expertise on parenting and divorce to Fink Cards where she will publish two new resources to help keep the lines of communication open enabling families to navigate the divorce process more positively. http://www.sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/
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