The Precious Power of A Song: Depeche Mode

This weekend my little brother (aka Uncle Carl) secured two tickets for us to go and see the inimitable 80s band Depeche Mode during their Global Spirit Tour. 

This was a band we shared a love of as youngsters, a band we listened to throughout the teenage angst, a band we grew up to.

Depeche Mode music takes me back to when Natty was born



It feels exciting to be going back to revisit them, to reclaim our youth in a way. But they have a further significance for me.

One of their hits was on a compilation CD in my car at the time I was pregnant with Natty. Just another track, probably one I skipped over a hundred times to get to my favourite.

Yet after her birth the very same song suddenly became full of meaning, so hugely significant it could have been written just for us.  It seemed to be speaking to the family of a child who was born vulnerable and spending her early, precious, irreplaceable weeks in a Neo-Natal unit. I actually listened to the lyrics for the first time.

It summed up the guilt we felt at our shock after her arrival, the sorrow that cut through us as we watched her being subjected to uncomfortable procedures, the pain of the empty crib at home where she should have been sleeping, the fear that she would grow up remembering the aloneness in the incubator, that overriding feeling all parents have that they would do anything at all to make things better. 

I used listen to it over and over during the 30 minute journeys of solitude to and from the hospital each day, sometimes twice.  Theses car journeys were a bubble of thinking time between home, a place we were desperately trying to keep 'normal' for Mia, and SCBU with it's routines and clinical artificiality where we were protected from the outside world by the staff, guided along under their umbrella of care, but where our baby still didn't quite feel our own. 

When I listen now, the memories come flooding back and it still has the power to bring a tear to my eye. But now at least I can see what the masterplan was... and Natty has room in her heart for everyone.

Precious by Depeche Mode

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?

We always try to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for You

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it's Your eyes He's seeing through

I pray You learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in Your heart for two


Here's a link to the song on Spotify if you subscribe.
Precious - Depeche Mode

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful. I have one that really touches me by The Editors.

    It's called "The Weight of the World"

    Keep a light on those you love
    They will be there when you die
    Baby, there's no need to fear
    Baby, there's no need to cry

    Every little piece in your life
    Will add up to one
    Every little piece in your life
    Well, it means something to someone

    You've fused my broken bones
    Back together and then
    Lift the weight of the world
    From my shoulders again

    Every little piece in your life
    Will add up to one
    Every little piece in your life
    It will mean something to someone

    You touch my face
    God whispers in my ear
    There are tears in my eyes
    Love replaces fear

    You touch my face
    God whispers in my ears
    There are tears in my eyes
    Love replaces fear, fear

    Sandra Lala

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    1. Have just listened to this on Spotify. Very powerful. Thank you x

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  2. When I was pregnant with my Marcus I had a Depeche Mode song, too! "Enjoy the Silence," and after he was born I would sing the chorus to him as a lullaby.
    "words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in - into our little world." True wasn't it? But even more true...
    "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here in my arms."

    Today my son is graduating from the Madonna School in Omaha Nebraska.

    I'm sure you see already how quickly time flies by with your little ones.
    Keep up the good fight - the future is here before you know it :)
    - Mardra

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    Replies
    1. How amazing, that so many of us have these meaningful soundtracks to the arrival of our little ones tucked away.
      So proud for you and your son! What an incredible day you must have had! That all seems so far ahead of us, just on the first rung of education.

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  3. Hurrah for Depeche Mode, still one of my favourite bands ever. My daughter spent her first 5 days of life in an incubator and I've been worrying again recently about the effect that might have had on her. I know 5 days is only a very short time compared to a lot of babies, but you never imagine your baby will need a minute apart from you whilst you are pregnant. I discovered your blog via the BritMums Special Needs Round Up and I am very glad that I have.

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