Reader's Story - by Lizzie Chilton

The Journey of My little Miracle

Waiting anxiously on the 1^st April 2011 yes ‘April Fools day’! and I finally got that call from the Fertility Nurse ‘congratulations Mrs Chilton your beta hcg blood test is postive’ its shows a high reading of 500bhcg a very high pregnancy rate!!! OMG did I cry that day, it had finally worked after 10 years of desparately wanting a baby I WAS PREGNANT! I Cried and cried, tears of joy, my little frozen embryo had worked!!! The little embryo was transferred on a red nose day! So I knew my little baby would be a bundle of fun!  As the pregnancy went on I was so sick!!! Vomiting at anything, smells, tastes of foods you name it!  Kept saying to myself this little one so wants to be here, its taking everything out of me!  12 week scan came, we were so excited but nervous as well, all seemed good on the scan, given pictures and I was telling the world!  That after noon, received a phonecall from the screening nurse, ‘Elizabeth your combined blood test result has come back extremely high risk at 1:2’ for abnormalities, we want you to come and discuss this with the consultant tomorrow!!! Felt sick! I just thought my baby has an abnormality!  That evening was so upset, kept thinking my god what is growing inside of me! Having IVF you feel you deserve a perfect child! It should be perfect! Then would think no theyve got it wrong its all ok and just a stupid inaccurate blood test!  Went to see the consultant, I was in tears in his office, 2 male doctors and my hubby sat there, I was surrounded by 3 males! Had to laugh when I think back when I burst out in tears the look on the mens faces, all running around looking for tissues for me! We went onto have to CVS diagnostic test, this was a massive dilemma! I wanted to know what was happening, somehow I wanted to feel safe again, Im a person who needs to know.  I was so scared the baby wouldn’t be compatable with life, always remember my husband saying he wouldn’t be bothered if the baby had downs syndrome, I used to think that before I was pregnant, but now faced with it, I so wasn’t sure!  
My experiences so far with the medical profession were good.  On the 3^rd June 2011 sick again with fear, the phone rang it was the consultant, I knew straight away the CVS was positive for something, why would the consultant ring me! And not a nurse!  ‘Elizabeth Im giving you the news you didn’t want to hear’ your baby has ‘downs syndrome’ shaking trying to take it all in, ‘ill be ok I said I need to see my husband’ still cant really remember the conversation.  After putting the phone down I ran outside i couldn’t breathe, I walked around the garden saying ‘no’ ‘no’ why me why me, I was hysterical!   My husband was just walking down the path coming in from work, its positive I said its got ‘downs syndrome’ I just fell into his arms ‘it will be ok Liz’ don’t worry we will be fine’ he said.  My thoughts were different, what shall I do was going around inside my head, a split second thought shall I have a termination, I cant have a child with ds, its not me, Ive seen these elderly couples with ds children! Omg I cant! These thoughts were for about 10 mins!   I then felt so sick, and thought my god its my little frozen embryo it wants to be here, this one worked, why shouldn’t it be here!  I love this little thing inside of me, its growing and making me very very nauseous!  A week after our diagnosis I was a jabbering wreck, I felt like id had a mini nervous break down!  My body felt really shaky, but after a week I calmed down,  I still loved this little thing inside of me but was so scared, I cried for a week, and then I seemed to be ok, I was happy, Id got my head around it, with the love of my husband, family and friends I knew all was behind us and it was going to be ok.  I was very open about my baby telling people I was having a baby with ds, I joined support groups and got involved with the downs syndrome world! I joined Future of Downs on the internet, which were a tremendous support throughout my pregnancy, And it helped. I couldn’t wait for her to be born, I was so enthusiastic to give her the best life I could possibly give.   I knew I was having a little girl and just couldn’t wait for her, my love for her grew stronger and stronger each day.  We had a 3d scan at 27 weeks and it was fantastic, she was perfect, I was so scared of seeing her, I thought she was going to have 2 heads or something, but she was perfect, she was looking at me on the scan, facing the world, she was perfect! We were closely monitored throughout the pregnancy, having heart echo scans, and all was ok.    
On the 22^nd November 2011 Clara Elizabeth Chilton was born, at 38 weeks and weighing a tiny 3lb 14oz, by emergency c section due to me developing pre-eclampsia, she was perfect, I was in awe of her, since the day she was born I was floating and still am floating, my love for my daughter is immense, I had a journey a roller coaster some call it, but it was well worth it.  I am determined to give my daughter the best possible life for her, I will ensure she has all the opportunities there is, I want her to be part of the community, lead a normal, happy life.  
I just want women who have a prenatal diagnosis that their baby has downs syndrome is not a disaster, our kids can lead very normal happy life’s, there is lots of support out there, Future of Downs was a biggy for me, they have a special forum for women pregnant with a diagnosis of ds, you have so much support and don’t feel alone.  When the doctors tell you your baby has a special need it can be quite an overwhelming feeling.  Ive heard so many negative stoties from women who were given prenatal diagnosis of ds the medical profession advising termination and so on, but just want women have a good think, I understand its a personal choice, but many pregnant women are very vulnerable.  After hearing the percentage that 92% of women terminate if their baby has ds, had a massive effect on me.  Being one of the 8% of women who continue with their pregnancy, I wanted to put my positive story across.   I feel you never hear positive stories.  My daughter is coming up to her 1^st birthday, and this past year has been the best year of my life, not only did I get my little baby but she brought something special to me, and us as a family are having so much fun and are ready to face any challanges brought to us.