Well if you all think that sounds like my life is one long glamorous party, let me bring you down to earth quick sharp.
This morning just after hubby had left the house I began 'my eblutions'. I had settled comfortably on the loo to check my emails on my phone (we all do that, right?) when the house phone rang. At 8am it could only be my husband.
'Get the phone Natty darling.'
Natty picked up the radio phone in our bedroom.
'Hello yes. Yes. It's Natty.'
'Is it Daddy?' I called from the smallest room in the house.
Her little bare feet pattered into the room as she continued into the handset, 'Mummy is doing a poo poo.'
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the phone.
'Er, Mrs Goleniowska, it's medical Delivery Services. I have a toilet step for Natty. Will you be there for the delivery?'
There was no point trying to bluff or explain or dig myself in deeper.
'Yes, someone will be here.' My voice echoed in only the way a tiled bathroom can allow.