How to (Almost) Ice-Skate like Torvil and Dean

When your husband's idea of an ice-skating session is to sit and smile, photo-snapping smart phone in one hand, fowming hot chocolate in the other, from the non-icy side of the rink fence, a session with 2 non-skaters takes on more of the appearance of 3 Bambi on Ice, rather than a trio of former Olympic champions.

We go every year and I end up a quivering nervous wreck, trying to hold Natty (and myself) up, while hanging on to Mia and a balast filled Penguin and fearing the loss of someone's finger, sliced off by a skate blade.

Anyway, always conscious of the need to let the children take calculated risks, we returned for our first torture session fun on the ice this Winter at the weekend.

Astonishingly Mia was the first on the ice and began happily whizzing round independently, albeit clinging to the side, a blur of funky leggings, a skater girl skirt and leg warmers. Ooooops, when did fashion sudenly become so important!

Natty, who had been given, not a pair of twin-bladed strap on skates this year due to increased foot size, but an actual professional skating boot with only one perilously narrow blade between her and the slippery ice. My chest began to tighten, not too sure of how this was going to go. Natty is just Natty but the worrying side of my brain thinks of weak necks and hypomobility and tantrums on ice.

Never one to miss an opportunity for a little spelling and reading practice though, Natty got
to know her Penguin chaperone's name: 

"p - i - p spells Pip," she shouted proudly.

Well, the rest was a breeze. 

We sailed around, much like Torvil and Dean, ice crunching in our wake. Natty managed without me, occasionally asking me to add a bit of oooomph once in a while, just for adrenaline's sake, to bring a little speed to the proceedings. More or less, we were stars in our own eyes. 

Just for an afternoon... 

People and Gardens: A Nursery Staffed by Adults with Learning and Emotional Difficulties

On one of the first days of the school holidays, the girls and I decided to pay a visit to our online friends, a wonderful local project called People and Gardens. They don't open to the public so we were very honoured that they gave up their time to welcome us.

In a nutshell People and Gardens is a salad and herb nursery that supply produce to the Eden Project for their cafés. But it is much much more than that. Started by Ken and his wife Lorraine nearly 17 years ago, this place is a calm, supportive haven, an oasis where adults with emotional troubles or learning disabilities can come together, work and socialise, bringing independence and control into their lives.

Of course Ken and Lorraine have taken on more than the typical roles of employers. In many cases they advise, support, are carers, motivate their staff with team sports and even trips together. Their no-nonsense approach to life means that everyone is encouraged to help each other, and respect for the rest of the team is paramount. 

Because expectations are high, the first thing that struck me on arrival was the overwhelming sense of fulfillment and confidence that everyone had. It was a calm place too with smiles and jokes in abundance.

The girls clearly felt this as well, and greated Ken and his team with hugs and within minutes they were enthusiastically helping plant salad, clean and trim spring onions and pick tomatoes being grown for the Cornish Ketchup Co.

Oddly, I realised before we left home that Mia had never had much contact with adults with a Down's Syndrome and I had wondered how she would react when she met the staff. This was a case of me thinking too deeply, because she immediately felt at home.

Everyone sat together for lunch, and the girls shared around some cake we had made that morning.

Then it was time for... a spot of cricket. 

What? Don't you play cricket after lunch in your place of work? Both girls joined in but Mia simply couldn't be dragged away and in fact got quite competitive.

We were absolutely bowled over (excuse the pun) by what we saw at People and Gardens. 

We will definitely be back soon to volunteer our help, and I urge anyone who can support this project, which is after all a charity that struggles to pay as many workers as it can, either financially or with your time, to do so.

Oh, and if you live in the St Austell area you can order their delicious veg bags too. Yummm. We were sent home with a scrummy selection to sample.

More projects like this please.

H

Silent Sunday

    

Our Local Hero: Natty G

Today a lovely positive little piece came out in our local newspaper. 

I was immediately struck by the positive headline. No 'Downs Girl' here as so many of the nationals have previously written about Natty. And the article quite rightly praised Mia for being as much a part of the success story.

The picture shows 'No Papps Natty' holding her glass star award for Child of Courage or Achievement of the Year, an accolade which she won for opening the doors of the advertising world to children with disabilities, changing the face of beauty and also being an inspirational role model to many families, changing perceptions of Down's Syndrome and providing hope (her middle name as it happens).

Pioneers for Children with Down's Syndrome

Changing the face of beauty - the models with Down's syndrome

When Natty was born we were all struck by her petite fragility. Her features seemed so prefectly proportioned for a baby. That feeling that she would 'grow into' her ears, that I had noticed when I looked at Mia as an infant, wasn't there. She resembled a perfect little doll.

I began to wonder if anyone else could see that she was different. Was the fact that she had an extra chromosome evident from afar? It didn't look obvious to us, until we looked around and realised that other children had a certain look that was not like Natty's.

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, 

for beauty is God's handwriting -- 

a wayside sacrament.
Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every flower, 

and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was struck by how equally beautiful all children were, just in different ways. Strangers obviously thought the same about Natty, because they used to cross the street to tell us. Maybe there was an element of wanting a closer look at the little baby in the sling, but I always stopped to chat. To each and every one of them. (This is why I am late for everything as people who know me will vouch). I never once got annoyed at people for staring, I drew them in and left them smiling. And they all went home with a slightly different perception of Down's Syndrome.

This is where 'changing perceptions gently from within hearts' all began.

When Natty was about 12 months old, I recall walking past a shop window with her and seeing a small poster in a shop window with a happy family group advertising snuggly fleeces. The girl in the photo had Down's Syndrome. She was about 8 years old and gorgeous. My heart skipped a beat. Never before had I seen a child like Natty represented in advertising. I was so overjoyed, so inspired and so happy to see this young lady treated like any other, that I skipped into the shop and gushed enthusiastically at the staff working there. They were lovely, but probably didn't really understand just how much this symbol of inclusion had meant to me.  The shop was Weird Fish. The year 2008.

Weird Fish were among the first to employ inclusive advertising

I guess I filed that memory away, in the 'How I am Going to Change the World' section of my brain.

Years passed and Natty started school. I had time on my hands to mull over our experiences of parenthood, disability, heart surgery, shock, love, life and our family unit of 4. The blog Downs Side Up was born; a way of sharing, inspiring, and releasing.  This is an excerpt from my very first post in November 2011:

"This is a feeling of wanting to get something much more important, very right from the onset.  Of wanting to create something that will lift spirits, give support, bring people together, raise a smile and encourage. Yet all the while providing practical tips and real solutions for the everyday lives of parents and educators who have a child with Down's Syndrome in their lives."

The blog became the hub of Downs Side Up and spokes began to eminate from its core. The memory of that model in the poster returned and I began researching the subject.

I saw a model in the US working for Nordstrom and Target. (And apparently Next had done the same in the UK, but this passed me by sadly. )

Harvey in the Next campaign

I found a modelling agency in Dublin that specialised in models with Down's Syndrome called I Am Able 2 Model. Their books were full but they were supportive and encouraged me to just write around to companies and agencies asking them if they would like to include Natty in their campaigns. I did this, many of my emails were ignored, some received sweet replies saying that Natty was gorgeous but they couldn't use her and then... bingo... Frugi said yes. 

Shortly afterwards Jojo Maman Bebe, everyone's favourite quality brand, famed for their funky stripes, agreed too. They are inclusive employers and were now keen to be inclusive with their models too. 

Natty and I excitedly hopped on a train to London for the shoot. 6 hours later we arrived, tired but still full of energy, jumped in the waiting car and whizzed round to the venue where Natty immediately began singing Christmas carols (in June!), riding the willow reindeer and shouting 'Shhhhh! Santa's coming!' to the crew. We were in stitches, and what a diva after such a journey. 

The Jojo Maman Bebe outtakes

45 minutes later we were back in the car heading for the station for our return journey home. We arrived safe and sound, exhausted but having spent a quality day together, full of puzzles and films and books and colouring and music. For Natty, the modelling was just a tiny bit of fun in the middle of the day, unaware of the importance of the barrier-busting occasion.

Suddenly we were sucked into a media whirlwind with TV, radio and magazine articles galore.

Natty, model with Down's syndrome 

At the same time another amazing, tireless and determined Mum, Caroline Playle was doing the same thing. Our children both featured in the Jojo Maman Bebe campaigns. Now the world really had to sit up and listen. And listen they did, because her son Seb White has been snapped up by none other than Marks and Spencer for their Christmas campaign! Again the world of media was whipped into a frenzy and everyone was talking about how scrumptious he looked with his reindeer antlers. He was even taken on for their Xmas TV ad!

Now the floodgates are open. Other companies are doing the same. Other parents are confident enough to push their children with disabilities forward for modelling. What I really want to see now is a wheelchair user in a campaign, or a teenager with Down's Syndrome, adults with learning disabilities. 

But we will get there. One step at a time.

I am very proud to have been a mover and a shaker in this shift in society and I thank all the companies willing to stand up and be different. 

This got me thinking about the pioneering parents that have gone before us, those who bravely took their children home from hospital when that was not the 'done thing', those that fought for our children to be firstly educated at all, and then included in mainstream schools if that was what was right for their needs. 

I thank the professionals who research all the latest learning techniques for our children. I thank the doctors who pioneered the heart surgery that saved Natty's life. I thank these parents and professionals from the bottom of my family's collective heart. 

And to those parents of the future, I promise to carry on fighting, along with an army of other passionate Mums, for change, so that your children get an even fairer bite of the cherry of life.

Hayley, Natty's Mum
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