Supporting Your Child with SEN When You are Moving House or Renovating a Property





Moving house is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life, or so they say. 

Having moved three times in three years, whilst simultaneously going through a difficult divorce AND trying to main stability for Mia and Natty, I'd have to say I agree. 

Moving house and living in an older property that needs work can take its toll on young people with special needs too. Their routine can be upset, they are not the focus of your energies and can feel destabilised without their familiar surroundings. Then there are their physical and medical needs to consider as well as doing any DIY safely. 

But while moving has been exhausting, emotional and at times stressful for us, the girls and I have become closer as a result, and we've picked up some really useful hacks along the way. 


Top Tips for Supporting your Child with SEN When You Are Moving House or Renovating a Property


The girls and I immediately fell in love with our 60s bungalow even though it needs a bit of a makeover. I'll just say that Googling ways to remove woodchip wall paper have featured heavily in my life this year, and Mia has started a Bungalow Renovation Project mood board on Pinterest.


A replacement bi folding door that Natty can open easily is on my wish list


  • First things first You will want to choose the location of your new home with your family's needs in mind. Look for the locality of a suitable school, particularly if your child is in specialist education. You'll also need to look at nearby medical support and the proximity of other amenities such as transport links, accessible parks or support groups. 
  • Similarly, you will want to make sure your home can accommodate your child's requirements. If your child has a physical disability, you'll be looking at accessible access, room for equipment and so on. Children with sensory issues might prefer a quiet location, and for me safety was paramount. Natty is unaware of danger and so being away from a main road in a property with secure front door and a fenced-in garden were key. 
  • Prepare your child for the move by talking about what to expect. Show them the new house and perhaps make a scrap book of photos. You could create a social story or read a book such as Usborne's Moving Day. 
  • Allow your child to pack their own box of precious things that they want to have on the first night in the new home. It might include their favourite toys or a photograph.
  • You might decide that moving house is best done while your child is at school or with a carer. But, if appropriate, older kids and teens might like to be involved. Helping out on removal day can help the move seem more real.
  • Say goodbye to the old house. We stood in each room and remembered one happy thing that had happened there before we said farewell and hoped the new family would be happy there. 
  • Make the day as fun as possible even if you are stressed. Children pick up on our emotions and this will set the tone for how well you all settle in your new home. Perhaps a friend or cousin might like to come over to help. Natty was so excited when her beloved. Uncle Carl arrived to help us move and the whole day involved impromptu wheelbarrow rides! 
  • It sounds obvious, but make sure that bedding, favourite snacks, a kettle and tea bags and any medication or equipment your child needs travel with you. Have an essential box to hand as well, containing a few tools, light bulbs for quick fixes on arrival. 

Support you child with a book about moving house


  • Settling in I quickly noticed that our house had condensation and mould on some of the windows. Damp and mildew isn't good for anyone, particularly a child with compromised immunity and a history of respiratory infections. So I decided to install a dehumidifying system. 
  • Making sure you are going to live in a safe and healthy environment is vital. It's worth paying a professional to check/install smoke and heat alarms immediately, as well as certifying electrics and gas boilers, fires and so on.
  • I always sort out the girls' rooms first. A deep clean, a lick of paint and a few twinkle lights, go a long way to helping them feel settled. Using familiar rugs, duvet covers and putting up their art work will make everything feel homely quickly. I made their beds feel like new with a sumptuous hybrid mattress topper each from Simba*.
  • I try to keep removal boxes in their bedrooms to a minimum so that they have a little calm haven to retreat to when the unpacking gets too much. Let youngster make choices about the layout and colour scheme of their rooms if you can.
  • Take your time before embarking on bigger, more expensive projects. We love our 60s bungalow which has some quaint original features. I'm doing a lot of the basic DIY projects myself, like stripping wood chip wallpaper and painting the walls and skirtings. But after living here for a year, Mia, Natty and I have decided which bigger jobs are essential.
  • Live in your for new home a while rather before you decide what needs doing. Some things you'll learn to live with and some things you will soon realise you can't stand. We have an original sliding patio door that is impossibly heavy for Natty to open by herself. I struggle too, so a replacement bi folding door is on our wish list.
  • Easier said than done, but try to keep chaos, mess and dust to a minimum. Crucially paint or other chemical fumes are dangerous, so keep windows open and do this kind of work when youngsters are at school. Similarly keep dangerous tools locked away and out of sight.
  • In moderation, every family member can have small achievable and safe chores to do in your new home. Being given jobs to do boosts young people's self-esteem and confidence. And we all want to be part of the removal and renovation A team after all, don't we 😊

*This post contains a link for which I was gifted an item to compensate for my time.


Life with Special Needs: A Bedroom Fit for a Teen

We've moved house recently and Natty had some very strong ideas about her bedroom decor - one cherry pink wall it is then! 


Moving house can be fun!

It never will be a perfect Insta-ready room I can tell you. Her habit of hiding small objects in purses which then get hoarded in multiple handbags will ensure of that...

But just as every teen has their own ideas about decor, and their room layout will be determined by their physical and cognitive needs as well as being led by the space you have available, there are a few tips and tricks you can use to make their lives easier and more comfortable.

Natty's room is quite cosy to say the least and that has meant I've needed to be creative in order to help her organise herself. So here are a few hacks I've learnt along the way.

Label Items

We have an labelled underwear drawer, a sock drawer and a pyjama drawer. These can have small stickers with an easy read font and/or symbol, or you can laminate card and blu tac it on. It's also a great idea to label objects such as the door and window depending on your teen's needs. 


Baskets Work

Natty and her sister Mia have multiple baskets which are stored inn and on top of the wardrobe. Each one contains everything needed for a particular activity, say dance or gym class. Another contains sun hats, glasses and sun screen and yet another all the swim kit. This make getting ready to go out much easier. 

Make Clever Use of Space

You can use the space under ottoman beds or in the drawers of divan beds to store items that aren't wanted on a daily basis and keep them tidily out of sight.

If storage isn't a problem, then another option is a truckle bed, which has a second mattress tucked underneath for when friends come for sleepovers. This was a great investment for Natty's room, and gives us a spare bed whenever her best friend or cousin come to stay.

Inexpensive shelving can house books, games and puzzles and again these can be labelled. We picked up some lovely units from a charity shop, which I up-cycled with some funky paint. 

Desk Area

If your teen has homework to do, they might need a desk with a reading lamp. This can double up for doing art, puzzles or as a dressing table for getting ready. 

Create a Visual Timetable

A visual timetable can feature the morning or bedtime routine broken down into achievable steps, or show the weekly timetable of activities that your teen enjoys. Visual timetables help foster independence and life skills and can even set out the steps for chores such as changing bedding. 



Get the Height Right

Coat hooks can be great for hanging uniform or an outfit ready for the next day as this provides a visual cue for what's happening. But it's no good having a hook on the back of your door at full height if you are petite in stature. So look at your teen's room through their eyes when planning and if they are small, fix shelves and hooks within their reach.

Let Them Choose

Provide options for your teen to choose from so that they can personalise their space and have ownership of the project. Simple cosy touches such as new cushions, a duvet set, rug, lamp shade or poster can really personalise a space.

Showcase Their Collections

Perhaps your teen has a collection of trains or dinosaurs or books, or as in Natty's case, tiaras. They might not be your idea of ornaments but they are precious to them. So display them on a shelf or desktop display unit. Items such as drawings, certificates or old records can be popped into cheap frames and hung on the walls.  

Family Tree

Family photos can be slotted into over door hanging pouches or displayed in frames. This is a way for your teen to cherish special memories or milestones in their lives. 

Get Sensory

Your child might like their room to be quiet, in which case you can use soft furnishings or pin fabric to the ceiling to muffle sound. Equally they might enjoy a sound system on which to blare out Little Mix on a loop. 

Mix and colours textures together to provide sensory interest. Pick different fabrics, faux furs and fluffy throws. 

You can bring aromatherapy into the room safely with a natural essential oil diffuser or by planting aromatic herbs in pots. 

Your teen might find a weighted blanket helps to calm them and aid sleep. They might also enjoy a memory foam pillow for support and some youngsters like a couple of extra pillows packed around them for comfort.


Make your teens bedroom a calm place to unwind

Sleep Hygiene

If your teen has trouble sleeping, it's a good idea to keep their bedroom a calm place. Eliminating tablets and phones before bed, lets them relax and helps their brain switch off for a good night. Read our Sleep Strategies post here. 

So, each room will be as individual as our teens themselves, and they are going to want to spend a lot of time in them, so why not make them as comfortable and functional as possible. 


* This post includes collaborative links.

Sleep Strategies for Children who have Down's Syndrome

Any sleep-deprived parent will tell you how debilitating that all-consuming exhaustion is. The brain fog, irritability, lack of concentration and a complete obsession with getting a few hours uninterrupted kip under your belt, is a completely natural part of parenting. 

But you expect/hope/pray it will end after a few months.


Sleep hygiene is important for everyone

Up to 25% of all children have a sleep problem at some time (Mindell and Owens, 2003)


But for many parents of children with additional needs this pattern of broken sleep can last for years, or indefinitely. And of course the children themselves are suffering from disturbed sleep too, which has an impact on physical wellbeing and cognition.

Simple Random Acts of Kindness: A book giveaway

Simple random acts of kindness

365 Days of Calm, Happy and Kind by Becky Goddard-Hill


365 Days of Kind is a new activity, affirmation, and quote book for children by wellbeing author, psychotherapist and dear friend Becky Goddard-Hill, who you can also find blogging at Emotionally Healthy Kids

It is colourful, fun and packed with inspiration which it delivers in tiny, bite-sized chunks each day of the year.

This beautiful little hard back book with colourful page marker ribbon is the perfect size to stuff in a stocking or give as a gift to a child or young person.  

It has just been published alongside 365 days of Happy and 365 days of Calm. These books are packed with quotes, affirmations, and activities to encourage and inspire kids each and every day.

Each week is themed and begins with an activity related to the theme, followed by inspiring quotes and affirmations to say out loud on each following day. 


Author Becky Goddard-Hill

Random act of kindness ideas 

Here are the random acts of kindness activity ideas from the book that you might like to do with your children. Social and emotional learning works best when it is part of each day rather than just occasionally. A daily dose of kindness makes life nicer for everyone.

A random act of kindness is an unexpected surprise - 
an act of kindness for no other reason than to be kind
They are often done for strangers, 
but you can also do them for people you know. 


Here are some ideas: 


  • Leave a thank you note above your post box or on your dustbin
  • Make a Be Kind poster and display it in your window
  • Make a playlist for your parents of all their favourite songs
  • Make wildflower seed bombs
  • Email your sports coach and tell them what they mean to you
  • Wash your family or a neighours car
  • Make and take a parcel to a food bank
  • Write to your MP about something that could be better in your area
  • Leave a little heart made of pebbles on your path
  • Make a simple bird feeder
  • Ask your local nursing home if someone might like a letter
  • Make everyone’s bed for them
  • Draw a picture for someone you miss
  • Start a dinner time conversation telling everyone your favourite thing about them
  • Send a thank you message to your teacher
  • Help empty the dishwasher
  • Find some positive and happy quotes to put in your sibling's lunch box
  • Start a food box collection for a food bank

 

Which one will you do today? 


If we all do one random act of kindness daily, 

we might just set the world in the right direction.” 

– Martin Kornfeld


365 days of kind is out now! 


 
365 days of Calm, Kind, and Happy book tour 

To follow the rest of the 365 days book tour and see more extracts from the books take a look at the following blogs:

29 /9 We’re Going on an Adventure www.goingonanadventure.co.uk

30/9 Thrifty Mum thriftymum.com

01/10 Downs Side Up www.downssideup.com

2/10 Emma and 3 www.emmaand3.com

3/10 Mummy Mummy Mum  www.mummymummymum.com

4/10 Rainy Day Mum  www.rainydaymum.co.uk

5/10 What the Red Head Said www.whattheredheadsaid.com

6/10 Growing Family  www.growingfamily.co.uk



To be in with a chance to win a copy of ALL THREE 365 books, 

click the Rafflecopter giveaway and enter with your email address below ↓


Behind Bathroom Doors

So much of what makes us human goes on behind bathroom doors


Not just a room with a loo, but one with a view; a bird's eye view to the primal experiences that make us human as we visit many times each day.

Within those wipe-clean walls we spend hours pondering life's junctions and milestones, prepping for hot dates, rehearsing our job interviews. 
We cry over ended loves, hormone-induced spots on the face or our self-perceived perfect imperfections. 

It's a teenage sanctuary, a place to hide, pluck, prune, tear your hair out. 
Or spew out and flush away your frustrations. 
Then it's time to draw careful lines in the sand and move on.

The bathroom is a place to prepare for the day, wash the work shift from hell down the plughole or bathe in a warm afterglow. 
A retreat, a treat, a hideaway, a rare place of privacy in the hustle of households and life.

It's a room where babies are made. 
And where babies are lost. 
And where anxious would-be parents check and re-check which of those paths awaits.

And then in the same grief space, now hope-filled, babies are birthed, beautifully. 
And they are bathed by hands that love. 
Small, individual differences are found in that place where we are as nature intended. 
A freckle... a curl... an extra chromosome... 

The bathroom becomes a place of joyous splashing and benchmarks growth across the sleep blurred years. It becomes a classroom where little wins of independence are clapped by eager audiences. 

Later, we rush through theses familiar spaces of a school morning, grabbing a hairbrush and an odd sock, shouting reminders of 'teeth' as we hurry. Hurry, hurry up and go. And go one day they will.

But bathrooms can be a place of quiet, shameful dread. Doors shut and cornered, gritted-jawed hoarse whispered threats, swear of absolute destruction. Those tile clad walls alone holding dark, fearful promises of the ends of days.

And those days do end. 

And new bathrooms are found, and those you share them with changes. And they are so much more than a fresh lick of paint. And they become the calm, safe sanctuaries that they always promised to be. 

And you are once again swaddled in towelling hugs.


SEND in the Experts Podcast: Downs Side Up interviewed



Georgina Durrant interviews me for her Twinkl SEND in the Experts podcast


Powerful Podcast

It was a huge privilege to be interviewed recently for the cutting edge Twinkl SEND in the Experts podcast, hosted by author, teacher and The SEN Resources Blog host Georgina Durrant. 

You can listen here as we chat about Natty's journey through education, debate mainstream and specialist school placements, discuss what inclusion really means, unpick what constitutes equitable education and healthcare and signpost best practice for educators and medics alike.


"A lot of parents have fought very hard for our children to have access to mainstream school over the years. And I think there is an unspoken... perhaps... feeling that we are letting the side down if we put our children in specialist setting. It's such a personal decision and it is whatever is in the child's best interest"

 

Downs Side Up chat to Twinkl about life with Down's syndrome

Twinkl Magazine

You can read our interview with Lucy Carmen for Twinkl magazine on World Down Syndrome Day here. I talk about what Natty has taught me over the years and how I have reassessed how I define success. 




You can buy Georgina's book 100 Ways Your Child Can Learn Through Play here.


You, Me and No.3 by the Sea: Natty and Olly's Special Friendship

A Road Less Travelled




One common experience that most parents of a baby with Down's syndrome recount is wanting to know what their entire lives hold for them while they are still a babe in arms. I was no exception, trying to envisage whether infant Natalia would get a job, have friends, marry or live independently, and all within the first few hours of her life.

I worried too whether she would ever experience a holiday or even visit our local Cornish beaches again. That all seems ridiculous now, Natty being a beach babe par excellence!


Natty's friendships are very precious to her


This just doesn't seem to happen when your newborn doesn't have an extra chromosome, and I guess it's all part of the natural adjustments we are making in our minds as we adapt to unexpected news, learn to distinguish outdated stereotype and myth from here-and-now fact and set off on the slightly different than imagined journey we suddenly find ourselves on.

It's the secret gem of a road trip that no-one wants to take, but when you do, you're so glad you swapped the high speed autobahn for it.

And it is this scenic, if occasionally bumpy route that Natty has led us on for a more leisurely trip, and one filled with wonderful scenery, fresh sea air, hilarious and often impromptu pitstops and the very best travelling companions anyone could wish to meet along the way.

Travelling Companions for Life


The friends we have met along the way are friends for life

Natty met Olly about 6 years ago when his Mum Sally Phillips was creating her award-winning documentary A World Without Downs. Olly is a dashingly handsome young man a couple of years her senior. He's witty, amusing, caring and shares her love of acting out Mamma Mia and taking silly selfies. He tells her she's beautiful, and loves her just the way she is. 
And just like Natty, Olly has Down's syndrome. 


Red carpet: Olly is dashing, fun and caring


I have watched their friendship unfold with envy, for Natty and Olly bring an honesty to the relationship table that the rest of us would do well to adopt. After meeting Natty for the first time, Olly drew a beautiful picture of the house he hoped they would one day call home together: and he labelled it No.3 by the Sea. 

No hiding his feelings until a socially acceptable time scale had passed, or playing cool mind games.... he just told her what he felt.


Natty and Olly in selfie heaven


Nowadays, their phone calls start with an exchange of 'I love and I miss yous', headlining phrases that most of us squeeze in just before hanging up at the tail end of our conversations

Olly carries Natty if her legs are tired, provides a shoulder for her to rest on when she is tired and is super protective of his smaller friend. The duo adore making each other giggle with funny stories or reciting lists of the daftest words they know. They love getting dressed up in their own flamboyant way, and there is never a hint of embarrassment if Natty chooses a tiara or Olly an umbrella hat. 

Both are incredible gift givers too; picking out fun badges, temporary tattoos, lovely cards or pieces of jewellery they know the other will love.


Proud and protective of our closest friends


They are too young to be in a romantic relationship, and both seem clear that they are just friends. But both are in love with the idea of being in love and all the trappings that come with it. Olly's Mum and I secretly dream of a time in the future when perhaps they can live together with other friends as independently as possible with our support.

Friends for Life

One thing is for sure, Olly is the longest-standing and closest friend Natty has and around whom she has a certain ease. And somehow when you have a learning disability those special friendships are even rarer and more precious. They need nurturing and a little support from the adults around.

So who knows, perhaps one day, Natty and Olly will cement their love and begin writing their own real life romantic comedy musical. 

They might seal their relationship with a kiss and vintage rings (or something one of them has fashioned by hand with wire, sea glass and a dollop of love) in front of a group of tiara-wearing friends cheering them on, before heading home to No.3 by the Sea for bottomless bowls of raspberry ripple ice cream, twirly swirly dancing, fancy dress karaoke and hours in a selfie booth packed with beach-themed props and tropical inflatables. 

What more, I wonder, could any of us wish for... 💖


True love is having the space to express yourself



*This is a collaborative post.