Dear Richard Dawkins, You are Wrong

This post was first published in 2014 after Prof Dawkins created a Twitter storm with his comments. He has since reignited the flames in a RTE 1 interview with host and DS Dad Brendan.

@InYourFaceNewYorker "I honestly don't know what I would do if I were pregnant with a kid with Down Syndrome. Real ethical dilemma."

@RichardDawkins "Abort it and try again. It would be immoral to bring it into the world if you have the choice."

Prof Richard Dawkins sparks a Twitter storm

Dear Richard Dawkins, 

Atheist author, provocateur, scientist, you must by now be well aware of the furore over your comments yesterday. Comments that it was 'immoral' to bring a baby with Down's syndrome into the world if you have a choice.

'Abort it and try again', was your advice because it is the 'civilised' thing to do as 'they are foetuses, diagnosed before they have human feelings.'

Dear Richard Dawkins, You Are Wrong

As I watched the Twitter debate unfurl, you continued that you would not recommend abortion for individuals with Autism, say, as they 'contribute' to society, for they are 'enhanced', which, in your view those with Trisomy 21 are not. In your 'apology' even went so far as to say children with Down's syndrome 'suffer'.

Now hold your horses just one moment Mr Dawkins. I think perhaps you are confusing non-essentialist, humanist thinking with a loss of humanity here. You are so very wrong on every single count above that it would be eye-rollingly laughable if it weren't so hurtful and damaging. 


Adults with Down's syndrome are reading your outdated and bigoted views. Yes, they read, and have opinions and feelings, just like you.

What you are actually saying by stating that we have a moral obligation to eradicate them as foetuses, is that they are worth less than the rest of us. So before you go any further, I suggest that you stop and listen to someone who actually lives the reality you claim to speak on with authority.

As I write this piece, my children are making pancakes in the kitchen. They are squabbling over who gets the first one and I can hear them discussing whether they want sugar and lemon or maple syrup atop the treats. One is planning to make a loom band bracelet for a friend later, and the other has a Frozen puzzle set up on the table that she's working on. Later we'll be baking biscuits before the cousins descend for a fun-filled few days.

The snapshot shows that our household is like many up and down the land. And yes, one of our children has an extra chromosome. Yes, she has Down's syndrome. It's just a part of who she is, an important part, but it doesn't define her, and it certainly doesn't limit her. She absolutely does not 'suffer' from the condition, instead grabbing life with both hands, living every moment to its fullest, taking part in all the same activities as her elder sister.

Like you, before our youngest was born, I too believed in the fictitious model of learning disability that society has constructed throughout history. The words 'Down's syndrome' struck fear into my Mummy-to-be heart as medical professionals talked of the need for screening and my calculated 'risks' of having a child with the condition. I had only outdated stereotypes, glimpses into the lives of strangers many years ago in my mind's eye.

If, upon delivery of the 'bad news', amid 'sorries' and sober faces, we were simply given the earliest available slot for a termination, as many parents are, we might well have joined the ranks of the 92% of those who find out who choose that route, thinking it the only, even the 'kindest' option. 

Maybe it's time we stopped to ask ourselves why so many unquestioningly follow that path.

If our trusted consultant told us that our baby would 'suffer', we too might have thought that abortion was an early form of euthanasia. What we wouldn't have realised is that actually choice is being taken away from us all, the choice to decide whether to continue with a pregnancy or not, once given unbiased information. The choice not to opt for screening in the first place. I am thankfully I did not have an antenatal diagnosis and thus did not feel subjected to that kind of societal pressure. 

Increasingly many parents are rejecting screening, as the possibilities for those with Down's syndrome become common knowledge. The 92% figure does not represent all pregnancies with Down's syndrome therefore.

And here is where you make your biggest error Mr Dawkins, for this is not a religious/ atheist debate, this is not a clear cut stand off between pro-life and pro-abortion camps. This is about ordinary people making difficult gut-wrenching decisions based on the limited amount of knowledge they have at their disposal. 

Your comments only serve to further entrench the myths that surround Trisomy 21. You too have accepted and swallowed the lie, a lie that many of us work hard to replace with accurate narrative. 

I can understand that you don't know the realities of Down's syndrome today, I understand that segregation was standard practice when you were growing up, and I truly pity the fact that you lack the enhanced extra dimension that our community benefits from by having children like my daughter at their core. But it is not too late for you to learn that inclusion is a two-way street and that those with the condition make very real and valuable contributions to their communities.

Down's syndrome is natural, it has occurred since time began and we are all different, we all need support at different times and have our 'flaws', that is part of humanity and what makes society rich, what makes life interesting.

Our daughter is now eight and she has taught me so very much. She is an ambassador, a teacher, she makes us appreciate the details of life, learn in different ways. She intuitively watches out for the emotional needs of others, always there for those who are upset, or the ones with a bumped knee. She is funny and bright and feisty. She lives in the moment and is unerringly honest. You see Mr Dawkins, this is someone's worth, this is what we put back. The only burden I have on my shoulders as a parent is tackling the misinformed.

When she grows up I know she will follow in the footsteps of her role models, find a job, live independently, enjoy the company of friends, have a partner of her choosing, partake in hobbies, maybe learn new skills. Down's syndrome is not a severe disability as was once thought when you were a lad, it is simply a mild to moderate developmental delay. Why do we spend £30 billion a year on screening out these incredible individuals, yet only £500 thousand on research into better education and support to enable independence.

I do feel sorry for you. While you wade through a sea of negativity and tick off the number of followers you have upset today, I will be listening to the laughter of children as we build a den in the garden, happy in the knowledge that when they reach your age they will be fluent in the language of difference and inclusion.

Please Mr Dawkins, I beg you to look a little deeper and realise the responsibility that you hold, that one with your influence should not take lightly. I'm not certain if these recent comments were carefully planned to upset and enrage or whether they were an error of judgment on your part, but your lack of understanding and empathy is as great a disability as any, particularly in one who should be old and wise enough to know better.

But thank you giving us the opportunity to show you just how much our friends and loved ones with Down's syndrome enhance our lives. We wouldn't change them for the world.

This post also appeared on the Huffington Post

Open Letter to Collin Brewer

Dear Mr Collin Brewer

Sadly, since I wrote this letter Cllr Brewer has decided to stand again in the May Local Elections. Misguided and naiive to the public feeling against him that spans the world.

AN OPEN LETTER TO WADEBRIDGE COUNCILLOR MR COLLIN BREWER

Dear Mr Brewer

I appreciate that you are probably rather snowed under at the moment, a little shell shocked perhaps, reeling from the worldwide reaction to your foolish and hurtful error. But feel that a few minutes spent reading my letter might change your life as it now stands.

I have just returned from a gathering of beautiful child models, meeting together in an historic building for a photoshoot, all of them bursting with life. There were giggles and hugs and sulks, play fighting and tickling, far too many crisps were consumed, and it took a lot of persuasion to get some to play ball in front of the cameras. Each one had a personality that filled the room and each was quite the little diva.

But you see one of the smallest and arguably the most cheeky was our daughter Natty. And Natty has Down's Syndrome. As in fact do all the other children we met that day.

My motivation to change the way the world views this extra chromosome is personal, and that day we had gathered to celebrate the doors that our children are opening, the perceptions they are gently changing and the inspiration they are providing to new families and children with disabilities everywhere simply by being included in mainstream advertising.

 Natty is 6, an ambassador, a teacher and melts hearts wherever she goes. She puts back far more into society than she takes from it, as she entertains, laughs, sings, dances, jokes, brings people together, teaches tolerance and an understanding of difference. For EQ cannot be measured financially. She intuitively watches out for the emotional needs of her classmates, always there for the needy, the upset, the ones with the bumped knees. You see Colin, a person's worth can never be equated to pounds coins.

I'm sure she would make a beeline for you if she ever met you, for your buffoonery and lack of understanding of the world is as great a disability as any, even more tragic in one who should be old and wise enough to know better by now. She would feel sorry for what you are missing out on, as indeed I do, my hurt and anger aside. I too was ignorant about disability before Natty was born. I have since made up for that, and it is not too late for you to learn that inclusion is a two-way street. The only burden I'd rather not have on my shoulders is tackling the misinformed and comforting those upset by thoughtlessness such as yours.

I have oft come across those who are purposely hurtful and hateful, the Geoffery Clarks of the world, the trolls of life. But my motto is to ignore them, not put air in their lungs by fuelling their hatred, to simply shine light on their darkness.

But I do not for one second believe that you are one such individual Colin. Do you really want to euthanise the disabled? Of course not.

Did you let your Councillor’s hat slip and your true colours show? Yes, even if those true colours were just hot-headedness and a desire to provoke and hurt, and that will simply not do. As a former teacher I understand the importance of always acting responsibly in public and you did not.

Are you out of touch with social media? Yes. You never dreamed the stone would roll so far and pick up such hateful moss along the way, much of it exaggerated, out of context and frankly more worrying than your initial comments. The 'army' of people you have upset is far greater than the small collection of voters you represented. “Scores” doesn’t come close to covering it.

Did you do a lot of good in your career and were you well respected by the people of Wadebridge? Yes, and I have spoken to many of them personally, being a very local lady. I actually felt a little bit sorry for you as I watched the proceedings unfold, because you seemed a little naiive.

It’s time to remove your blinkers now and enjoy the jigsaw of life around you. To see what we can all learn from each other. I hope that other disability groups and parents will offer you an olive branch such as I am doing now.

I wish you a happy retirement, although my mind's eye envisages an embarrassed brood of grown up children and a wife who wishes you had kept your mouth shut. An inbox full of hatred and your name smeared across every paper. Bitterness fills the air.

It’s not too late to meet with us, or other disability groups, share a coffee and make amends properly.

I for one, thank you for doing the right thing and for stepping down.

We now need to channel our energies in proper disability training for all council staff, starting now.

Yours sincerely

Hayley Goleniowska

Author of Downs Side Up

Cornwall