Five Firsts I will Never Forget for #LDWeek14

Which firsts do you remember from your child's early years? 

First tooth, first haircut, first word? 

Do you keep evidence of them all, the teeth, the lock of hair, the words written in that little red book the Health Visitors give you? I have all of those precious memories from both girls stored away in a tresure box that is bursting at the seams.

Each year Mencap encourage us all to pull together for Learning Disability Week, a time to share information, campaign together and celebrate achievements. This year is is no exception, and the cleverly-chosen theme for #LDweek14 is 'firsts'.

Little did I know when I agreed to take part with a blog post, that it would prove such an emotional experience. Here I sit browsing through old photographs, looking for visual evidence of Natty achieving things for the first time, moments in time captured, and I am reminded just how many of those occasions we wondered if we would ever see. 

We dared not hope for any of them when she was born, for we weren't even sure if she was strong enough to survive in the beginning. Natty has Down's syndrome and was born with a heart condition that left her blue and reliant on oxygen and an incubator in neonatal intensive care for several weeks.

So this exercise has been a stark reminder in not taking your child's achievements for granted, in celebrating even the tiniest of successes, in accepting them for who they are and encouraging them to reach their full potential, whatever that means.

As I sit, with a tear of pride, and a heart that becomes heavy recalling some of the hurdles our precious daughter has faced, a cup of hot tea in hand, I am proud to share with you just a few of our little Natty's memorable firsts:

First Taste of Breast Milk and Kangaroo Care

Natty was quite simply too tired to feed as an infant. Expressed milk was fed to her through a naso-gastric tube for three months after which time she learnt to do it for herself. Her first real accomplishment.

This picture is so significant as it shows her very first taste of breast milk from a syringe at about 3 days old. It was also the first time we tried Kangaroo Care which is skin to skin contact, so enormously beneficial to premature and sick babies.

I recall a cardiac consultant arriving at this moment, scanning machine in tow, and a kindly neonatal nurse firmly asking him to come back in half an hour, for she knew the immense significance of this moment.

Showing Interest in a Toy

With all infants there is a period of time before they learn to smile or take an interest in the adults and things around them, but with Natty I recall this seemingly going on forever. Thinking back I guess I was afraid that she might never engage with her world.

The Portage service were amazing at this stage, and came to the house weekly, bringing toys and ideas for exercises for us to do together. It was also a chance to have a coffee and a chat with a familiar, smily face who understood the period of adjustment we were going through.

This photo shows Natty with a loan toy that was the first thing she ever reached out for and actively chose to play with. It span and wobbled and played a tune from memory, although I might have made that bit up...

Teasing Medical Staff

This photo was taken within hours of Natty coming round from her keyhole heart surgery. She's wearing her 'My heart was fixed...' T shirt.

Those of you who have been through similar with your little ones will understand the phyical weight of worry, the sheer terror of waiting for your child to return to you after such a procedure. The photo takes me straight back there and my chest begins to tighten as a remember every little detail that I had boxed away in my mind.

We went to Bristol Children's Hospital and paced the street while we waited for the call to return, the call to say our youngest child was safe. We were at her side when she awoke and then Daddy held her on his chest while she dozed off the anaesthetic. None of us spoke, too afraid. Wondering if the surgery had worked, if the operation had been a success, hoping there were no ill effects.

Then her surgeon appeared, doing his ward round. Natty looked up, turned to him and blew the most enormous resounding raspberry at him. Our cheeky Natty was back, with vengeance, and oh so cleverly she broke the tension in the room and made us all smile once again.

Writing Her Own Name 

These photos show a proud and happy time for all sorts of reasons, as they were taken when Natty 'graduated' from pre-school at four years old, ready to begin in reception. An anxious time of transition for any parent but it couldn't have been done with more care and attention to detail.

We arrived at the graduation ceremony venue and took our places in the audience. The children came in, sang songs and then took turns to receive their certificates and wear mortar board hats that they had made. My eyes didn't leave Natty for a moment and I strained to see the pattern on her hat. All of a sudden I realised that it was writing... HER writing... her NAME! Tears flooded our proud faces.

Natty had drawn over dots that made up the word NATALIA. It had apparently taken much time and several attempts, but the staff had believed in her and had persevered. WE couldn't thank them enough.

Swimming a Length Unaided

This event needs a blog post all to itself. It was a truly miraculous moment that I didn't capture on film as other children were present in the pool. It happened recently and all I shall say is that involved Natty, who has been swia few strokes at a time with out floatation devices, gatecrashing a swimming lesson. She watched her peers carefully and thoughtfully before launching herself into the water and swimming first a width of perfect front crawl and then, ten minutes later, a whole length.

More tears, and this time they were from the teacher and other parents as well as me!

The Sky is the Limit

What these milestones prove to me is that we must never set limits on what our children will be able to achieve. If the sky is the limit for them, then the firsts will keep on coming...

Hayley Goleniowska: proud Mencap Mumbassador

Teaching a Visual Learner about Jobs

I haven't written one of our HOME SCHOOLING posts for a while now.

I flexi-school Natty at home one day per week which allows her a quiet day with undivided attention to focus on her reading, writing and numeracy skills. We also do a hearty slice of life skills, such as cooking, laundry sorting, grocery shopping, even bed-making. We then usually fit in a SWIM or a run on the beach. Natty gets a mid-week rest which she so often needs and, quite simply, we love our time together.

This half term the topic at school is JOBS. Natty knew a few of the more obvious roles, perhaps those involving uniforms or the ones that feature in her life like doctors and dentists. The other jobs I chose to focus on today were those I knew she understood and had met, but perhaps didn't know the term for. So here are the activities we enjoyed together:

1) I found and copied pictures of people doing jobs. These are readily available to download free from many online educational sites.

2) I copied 2 sheets of these images. Natty coloured in and drew on one as we chatted about what the people were doing.

3) I cut up Natty's coloured in sheet to make smaller individual flash cards. We labelled each picture with the job title.

4) Natty matched the flashcard to each picture and we repeated the words and talked about what the people were doing again, using Makaton if necessary.

5) We then went to find a story about jobs and cuddled up to read together. Natty chose Doctor Daisy.

6) Finally we raided the dressing up box and Natty dressed in as many different job outfits as she could think of. As you can see from the doctor's afro (formerly to be spotted on Daddy Downs Side Up at a 70s party) Natty had a free range over her choice of what to wear for each outfit.

Mind you, the firewoman's backwards baseball cap is a little unorthodox too.

There is no right or wrong way to teach your child at home. Just choose what they enjoy doing and adapt it. Most of all have fun and enjoy each other's company.

For more ideas such as learning about fruit and veg, shapes, textures, reading and writing skills, have a look at our ACTIVITIES TO TRY AT HOME page.

Top 10 Tips to Help Your Child Learn to Swim

We are a family that loves to swim. The girls are little mermaids. Swimming boosts self esteem, is a healthy form of excercise, is fun and helps develop breath control and lung capacity, essential for speech development would you believe!

Learning to swim

Admittedly we never manage to make it a weekly affair. Snotty noses, burst ear drums and chest infections sometimes get in the way. Or I just can't face trying to coax Natty in and out of clothes and costumes like a reluctant and wriggly wet eel.

But we go as often as we can and until now we haven't signed the girls up to formal lessons, preferring to let then learn through play and our example.  Mia swam for the first time on a hot holiday where she was trying desperately to copy some older children, splashing for hours per day in an infinity pool. Natty in her turn has always been motivated by trying to be like her older sister. Never underestimate peer pressure.

Recently Natty swam a width of the pool for the very first time, unaided, without help or armbands. Yes alone. She slid in from the side, swam across and climbed out the other side. Admittedly she didn't come up for air and did all of it underwater, but we can work on breathing later. 

Since that moment we have signed her up to a local class, which she adores. She's coming on in leaps and bounds with a fabulous teacher who believes in her.

We found that the Sevylor Puddle Jumper Floatation Device  helped Natty learn to swim

So, here are our tips to encourage your child to swim:

***Never leave a child alone in water, whatever swim aid you are using.***

1) Start early
Introduce your baby to water as soon as they are well enough to avoid fear later on. I know they say this isn't necessary, but I waited for all the jabs to be administered first.

2) Play in the bath 
Don't be afraid to get children to blow bubbles into the water, submerging their faces for a few seconds. Make up silly songs, pull funny faces as you do the same.

3) Use a swim nappy
There are disposable or re-useable swim nappies available with cuffs on the leg to prevent contamination of the pool, special trunks or swimming costume with built-in continence support (these are available for older children too). Natty always seemed to prefer doing a poo in water until recently, be it bath or pool, so this was essential unless you want to be barred from your local pool!

4) Choose a reliable swim aid 
This is essential to help you both relax until your child is confident to move to the next level. We tried the suits with the floats built in as well as the little jackets with pockets to put foam floats in, but I found it hard to grab Natty round the waist to lift her wearing these. We eventually discovered the  Sevylor Puddle Jumper Floatation Device (pictured above). Utter brilliance! 

It has armbands and a tummy float but it's all joined together and does up at the back. The child cannot sink, floats face up and also cannot run away from you ripping their armbands off as they go and jumping in at the deep end with you hurtling after them, terrified! They cannot remove this device.
One day we left our Puddle Jumper behind at the pool and someone took it. Rather than buy a new one it was the boost we needed to move to the next step, which was simply armbands. Choose a variety that roll on simply, or inflate whilst on the child's arms. Natty's arms are short so we always had to use a very small pair, 6-12 months.

5) Removed the armbands for a few minutes at each session 
We pushed Natty through the water from one adult to the other. We let her play freely in the children's pool so she could get used to how her body felt in water without buoyancy aids. 
We then built up the distances slightly. My neighbour was the one who encouraged me not to leap forward and grab Natty as soon as she began to sink. This is hard to do as a nervous, protective parent, and could be the point you need an instructor to help if you are feeling worried about 'letting go'. She struggled for a second or two and then, hey presto, she found the strength and energy to make the extra effort needed to pull herself forward the required few centimetres to reach me.

6) Always take toys 
Plastic cups and interesting objects that float distract your child and make swimming time fun.

7) Protect ears
Wax ear plugs and neopreme headbands are available if your child hates getting their ears wet or is prone to ear infections.

8) Protect eyes
A top class pair of goggles are a must. We bought a pair more akin to a snorkel mask, that keep the whole eye area dry as Natty seems particularly sensitive to chlorine. 

9) Little and often 
Keep your swimming sessions short. This is better than long sessions where the child gets fed up and tired

10) Praise 
Never push your child to do what they aren't comfortable with. Remember to have fun! That way your child will learn almost by accident. Be patient. It takes time.