Why I'm Going to Britmums Live

This will be my fourth Britmums Live, the largest blogging event in my calendar. It's a combination of workshops, awards and speeches, a chance to meet brands if you wish, to learn to chat, to indulge in a sneaky Prosecco or two.  I always come home with a new spin on blogging, I learn tips and tricks, and most importantly it is a chance to mix, network and make true friendships with like-minded writers.

Hayley from Downs Side Up at BritmumsLive 2012

Each year is different, I think because we progress along our blogging journey and we therefore go with different expectations and ideas, confidences and questions. In the beginning I had no idea where my blog was going. I wrote voraciously and, if the truth be known, it was a very cathartic, healing experience for me. I cried many tears into my keyboard as I wrote late into the night. 

Downs Side Up's Ups and Downs in 2013: A Linky for 2014

Time to take stock

January is the time I like to spring clean my blog a little, cut the deadwood and look at it afresh after a Christmas break. It's easy to feel you haven't achieved a lot in a year, that you are stuck in a writing rut, but now's the time to look at even the smallest of steps forward, celebrate your achievements and motivate yourself for the year ahead.
Here's a taste of where Downs Side Up, our Down's syndrome support blog, has taken us this year.
I'd love to invite you to join the linky below with either your favourite post of the year or a summary of where your SEN blog has taken you or your cause, or simply a post about where you are heading in 2014. Please take time to visit and support others who link too, with lovely comments, that's how we draw our community closer.

January 

The year kicked off with a very exciting get-together of all the UK models with Down's syndrome that we could find, doing their bit for #adinclusion. Natty, Seb, Jojo, M&S, Next, Co-Op, Boden and more. We met at the Down's Syndrome Association head quarters incredible Normansfield Theatre. A place filled with the memories and the energies of those with Down's syndrome who had lived and acted there when John Langdon Down first detailed the condition, caused by an additional 21st chromosome. How far he pushed forward, but how much further our children can travel today, the world their oyster...

How Britmums Live and the BiBs changed my life

Friday sees the start of a 2 day event that has me nervous and excited and as keen as mustard: yep, that's right It's Britmums Live!

A time to learn, network, make new friends and, if last year was anything to go by, cry. A lot.

I've done a little video of what the 'blogging oscars' meant to me last year, and how it changed my life in small but important ways.

Please come and say hi and forgive me for being useless with names!

You might also like to read Britmums Live: Come and Say Hi

and about what Downs Side Up has been up to this year,

from Westminster to No.10 in Shortlisted in 

Brilliance in Blogging Awards: Our Year

Downs Side Up is a Britmums Brilliance in Blogging Finalist: INSPIRE

Thank you thank you thank you for all who voted for Downs Side Up in the Britmums Brilliance in Blogging Awards. It has been announced as a finalist in the Inspire Category, one of 6 to make it through.

What a huge honour indeed, and every one in that category is a winner to me, all powerful, selfless writers whose motivation is to help others. 

Although I don't consider myself to be up for the award, instead it is for my blog, which truly has taken on a life of its own. I simply follow its lead and go where the readers and Natty take me...

Next weekend we all head to London for the Britmums Live event, a kind of Mecca for Bloggers, but with Prosecco!

It's a chance to mingle, meet online friends again and learn how to make your blog a better and more beautiful haven and it is here they will announce the finalists.

It's all wonderfully exciting, and right now, between fighting Councillors who say children with disabilities should be 'put down' and trying to get the moral issues of the newDS screening test raised and the family's views heard, it will be a welcome oasis of positivity for me.

Much love to you all, and thank you again.

Hayley

x

I'm going to Britmums Live. Come and say Hi

This sounds ridiculous, but attending Britmums Live last year was one of the high points of my entire life.

I was terrified about going, a country girl from Cornwall who is happier in wellies and playing with my chickens. I'm uncertain in London, a fish out of water. I knew no-one other than a couple of chats online with Kateonthinice and RenataBPlus3.

I had been asked in advance if I would read at the keynote speeches (on a stage in front of lots of accomplished writers!) YIKES!

I was also shortlisted in the Inspire category of the BiBs. Again a very scary and proud moment.

Well, in a nutshell I arrived, terrified and shaky, the butterflies met me and put me at my ease. I wandered around looking for those I might know, staring at stands and feeling overwhelmed, looking at a timetable of workshops that I couldn't decide between because I needed them all. 

This feeling didn't last long, everyone was so supportive and friendly, and once the naked wine buffs came out in the evening, I had found Kate and Renata to share a giggly glass of Prosecco and the awards ceremony with. So many of those I had voted for won, the mood was electric.

A small group of us went for a lovely dinner afterwards and then the all important full night's sleep in a hotel by myself :)

The next day was one of serious note-taking. I felt like a student who wanted to gain every last drop of knowledge from the speakers. But the nerves about reading at the keynote were mounting. I recall several chats with lovely people who told me I'd be fine. Darling HerMelnessSpeaks being one of them and I will never forget how her confidence in me made me feel.

Well, it came to the speech. It was emotional. I shook so hard I thought I was going to faint. I cried. People brought me tissues. People cried. I stopped, caught my breath, repeated my message. Then there was a standing ovation. I just saw it start in front of my eyes, which have tears in them remembering the moment. I have never felt so surprised or proud in my whole life. I didn't even know I had in in me to get on that stage. DoingItAllForAlenya helped me walk back to my chair and held me tight until I stopped shaking and crying.

In short, leaving my children for the first time with my ever so capable husband and doing something completely for me since the birth of my children, not just a relxing treat but something that made my brain shake alive was a turning point for me. I can trully say tha Brimums changed my life forever and I will never look back. Read Thank You For Having Me which I wrote in the post Britmums Live glow, when they gave me a Blogger of the Week award.

Well this year the wonderful ladies at Britmums have asked me to speak, or at least be on a panel during an actual workshop. I'm not sure if I feel a bit of a fraud, but I hope you will enjoy joining us.

And my humble blogette has been shortlisted in 3 BiBs categories this year: Inspire, Commentary and Outstanding. 

And oh goodness, I am just as nervous this year as I was last year...

This is me:

Name: Hayley Goleniowska

Blog: Downs Side Up

Twitter ID: @DownsSideUp

Height: Petite

Hair: 75% grey and costing increasingly more to keep a natural 'mouse' colour ;)

Eyes: Grey/blue, often red and tired!

Is this your first blogging conference?

Last year I was an utter novice, so this is my second.

Are you attending both days?

Absobloominlutely! I live in Cornwall so I have to make it worth the trip. 

What are you most looking forward to at BritMums Live 2013?

2 full nights' sleep! 

Meeting the bloggers that have become close friends online. Meeting new and inspiring bloggers that I hope will become life-long friends. The sense of support from all at Britmums is tanglible.

Actually taking part in one of the panel discussions alongside some incredible bloggers who are my gurus.

What are you wearing?

Comfy yet trendy for the day and killer heels for the party. Really not quite sure exactly what yet though. I'll just be myself.

What do you hope to gain from BritMums Live 2013?

To gently change a few more perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within hearts.

I really need to learn how to be a bit more techy. I am such an accidental blogger.

I also want to publish a book shortly, so need to make contacts for that.

Tell us one thing about you that not everyone knows

I was the voice of the Cheats Mistress on a Games Walkthrough Guides and Cheats hotline. My Lara Croft-esque avatar had a leather mini dress on (perhaps I should wear it to Britmums!)

Shortlisted in Brilliance in Blogging Awards

Last year I fell off my stool and jumped around the kitchen when I heard I had been nominated in the Inspire category of the BiBs Awards run by the wonderful Britmums.

This year I was nervous. Would people still find Downs Side Up inspiring now that we weren't a new blog on the block? Had I outstayed my welcome. There are many other fabulous Down's Syndrome blogs to choose from too now after all.

The shorlists were announced yesterday evening and the voting for the finals opened, and I was truly flabberghasted to have been listed, alongside many of my gurus and inspirations. Not just in one category, but 3!!!

Inspire - The content, the voice, the infectious enthusiasm of these bloggers encourages everyone around them. They are seen as leaders in their field and their inspiration is felt through the community.

Commentary - A blog is a bully pulpit and a place to highlight causes, raising awareness and funds, and being a force for positive change. Their topics might be global, local or personal. Whatever their cause, these bloggers did more than their bit, and helped us get involved too.

Outstanding - This blog grabs your attention and won’t let go. It looks good, it reads good, and the author is an active player in the social world.

Well, a glass of Prosecco was consumed in celebration.

How do I feel? Proud, humbled, mostly honoured to be among so many greats and really excited about meeting up with them all in London in June.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and enjoys it or finds it supportive. I would love you to pop over to the Britmums site and vote for us. It only takes a second to do and will help gently change perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within a few more hearts.

If you'd like to know what Downs Side Up has achieved this year, have a quick browse through the following. It's been a roller coaster, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of year I can tell you.

Now first of all I'd like to say that what I do, the Downs Side Up stuff, is not for any recognition or reward or payment. Basically I saw that the World was fearful of Down's Syndrome, so I began trying to change the World for my daughter and other families, so that they can have the best possible life. I also didn't want any other parents to feel as desperate as I did in the early days, purely out of ignorance and my own fear, so to them I offer tips, advice and hope.

Of course, the blog was how it all began. Downs Side Up is 16 months old now but the blog has long since become the hub of a large wheel of activity. I don't want to bore you, and even I find it hard to remember it all, so here's a list of some of the things I've done this year, in no particular order;

• I've met prospective parents and new parents for coffees and chats, and written to many hundreds of families online, often simply pointing them in the direction of a charity or organisation that can help them.

• The blog was voted 8th Top European Blog and 10th Top Family Blog by Circle of Moms readers.

• I became the Britmums Special Needs Editor, producing a round-up of the best posts around monthly.

• I was honoured to be the keynote speaker at the British Institute of Learning Disabilities annual conference, talking to professionals about my journey.

• I was invited to give Evidence in Parliament at the multi-party Enquiry into the Disability Abortion Law, where I pushed home the lack of support that families get when making such a decision, using anecdotes from those I have chatted to.

• I was asked to speak at the Salvation Army Conference and a local church group working on disability services.

• I've gone into local schools to talk to youngsters about inclusion and Down's Syndrome

• I have met amazing adults with learning disabilities and been inspired by them on my own journey as we have become friends.

• I've produced a little DVD to show to medical professionals, giving guidance on delivering a diagnosis and language used.

• I've posed naked, apart from a pair of mismatched funky socks, to raise funds for our 3 favourite DS charities. Yes, it was terrifying. @Kateonthinice made me do it!

• I've done last minute radio interviews on many subjects from disability benefits to parenting and blogging for BBC Radio Devon, BBC Radio Cornwall, Spin Radio and Heart Radio. 

• Natty became one of the UK's first models with Down's Syndrome. She has worked for Frugi, Jojo Maman Bebe, Eden Project and Scott Dunn.

• I found 7 other models with DS in the UK and organised a meeting at the DSA Head office for a celebratory photoshoot which ended in a lovely positive article in The Sun. See the behind the scenes fun here as our children change the face of advertising and encourage companies to be more inclusive.

• We've chatted on the ITV Daybreak sofa and stolen Kate and Dan's Danish pastries live on air.

• Made 500 people cry and stand in an ovation at Britmums Live after listening to What to Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome. (They are hoping to get Kleenex to sponsor this year!)

• ITV Westcountry featured us and our chickens in a piece about modelling and blogging.

• We've been featured in Bella Magazine, The Sun, Cornwall Today, The Mail and The Express and Woman's Own.

• I've sat through the night writing open letters to bigots, such as Geoffery Clark and Colin Brewer, there was a Girl Guides Brown Owl too. The letters have gone viral.

• I organise linkies and guest posts sessions to encourage others to write and share their experiences, for blogging is so cathartic.

• I've written articles and guest posts for SEN Magazine, Mummy and Me, My Child and Me, Learning Disability Today, Foundation for People with Learning Disabilities, Elite Magazine, the Makaton Charity, MamaUK and so many more.

• I'm flying to Edinburgh to speak at the launch on 21st March of an incredible, powerful new photographic book called 6% My Photographs, Their Words by Graham Miller which features families and young people with Down's Syndrome. 

• I am spreading the word that 21st March is World Down Syndrome Day and encouraging as many people as possible to get involved to spread awareness.

• Natty has been awarded a Local Hero Child of Courage or Achievement Award for her modelling by Pirate FM.

Well, you get the idea. 

But to have that recognised is... well, I am very proud and it means that my efforts are having an effect.

Downs Side Up now takes up as much time as a full time job, mostly late into the night and when the children are at school. We live in Cornwall, so all that toing and froing to London is a bit of a pain, and we are often out of pocket. I sometimes have to turn things down because I can't fit it all in. We've even talked about moving to enable me to further my work.

I feel I have a duty to carry on, because I can.

And people seem to like listening and reading, so that's a bonus :)

The message is spreading that our children are a wonderful enhancement in life. So essentially all the late nights are worth it. So I'll carry on if you don't mind...

Thank you to everyone who nominated me for this award. I already feel like a winner and am in extraordinary company. I think all finalists should all just have a group hug on the night and a glass of prosecco. And thank you to everyone who has lifted me, inspired me and encouraged me. Those who have helped me through the scary moments when the trolls said unspeakable things about our precious daughter and I nearly gave up through fear. Those who helped spread the word, those who demanded I continue to shine a light into the darkest of shadows.

Thank you too to Britmums who first gave me that chance to find my voice, to Kateonthinice and MarisWorld, Susanna and Jennifer who have taught me so very much along the way.

Thank you. Thank you all.

You can vote here. 

Happy Birthday to Downs Side Up! What a Year!

We are one year old today! 

On the 24th of November 2011, I wrote my very first post Blank Blog Blindness. Afraid of who would criticise, certain no-one would read it and unsure of the form the blog would take, I nervously sent my personal thoughts anonymously into the ether.

A year on and we have come so very far!
It's been an organic journey that has taken us by the hand. It's been cathartic. The people we have met, the inspirational stories we have heard, the teams we are now a part of amaze me. Downs Side Up took on its own persona.
The ups, the downs, the trolls, the media, the TV, the children, the nominations, the awards, the competitions, learning about Facebook and Twitter and far too many social media networks to keep up with, doing radio interviews at 30 minutes notice, a snog with Dr Hilary Jones and Natty breakdancing with dance troop Flawless. But mainly the doors that have opened, the minds that have been enlightened, the families that have been inspired, the support network I am proud to have become a part of.

Public speaking, cover girl, national press, Daybreak, Dr Hilary, modelling, Flawless.

In truth Downs Side Up has taken on a life of its own, become a full time (very much unpaid) job, a labour of love if you like. Spokes eminate from its core; public speaking, modelling, writing articles, but all with one aim... to gently change perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within hearts. 

To celebrate I have decided to make a little video of my most popular post (by a long shot) for those of you who haven't met me. You know, the post I read at Britmums Live and had 500 writers and publishers in tears ;) Yes, that one. What to Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome. Read the post with additional links to support groups here.



I attach a few of the high moments of the year, and end by saying the biggest thank you to you all, for helping me to spread awareness, to educate and support, to include and love.  Together we are a strong, formidable force to be reckoned with.

Here's to the year ahead. We're not sure where we are going, but we have a long way to go. I am so glad to have you along for the journey x

Thank You for Having Me

I have just returned home from one of the most worthwhile, life-changing, yet surreal weekends of my life.  I have been to the blog writers' conference hosted by BritMums Live in London. 

I signed up and set off with my student hat metaphorically pulled on hard, my notepad and pen in hand and my brain set to 'absorb' mode.  I knew this was going to be a huge learning curve for me as a newbie blogger, technical numpty and country bumpkin, so I decided to put as much into it as I could... for you always get out what you put it in life.

I was actually a finalist in the Inspire category of the Brilliance in Blogging Awards. Quite frankly, this terrified me. The other women in the category were accomplished, polished writers with far more worthy messages than mine to spread. I felt like a fraud in part.

As the Friday progressed I became more and more fearful. I knew not one soul. I didn't know what to expect, what awaited me, and I really didn't want to sit at the front with the other nominees that evening. 

However, the lovely Butterflies welcomed me with open arms on arrival and I then felt able to throw myself into chatting to as many people as I could, and trying to recognise as many blogging names as I could.  Oddly, when you meet someone you've talked to online and, more importantly, whose blog you have read, there is very little need for small talk. You already know so much about each other, so that all that remains is to decide whether you warm to each other's personalitites. This was what it was all about for me, the people and the wealth of knowledge and experience that they shared between them. So lovely to meet @Sara @RenataBplus3 and @StephNimmo

That evening I attached myself to fellow finalist @KateonthinIce's side, with a large glass of bubbles in hand. When @MummyWhisperer won our category, I was overjoyed for her and her funny, accomplished blog.  Selfishly too I was relieved that I could now sit back and enjoy the company of the amazing women I had met that day.

But inside I knew that I had already won. I had won a personal battle against my fear of going to London alone, I had navigated day one of the event without hiding in the loos, I'd learnt a thing or two about making my blog more user-friendly and I had been asked to take an active part in the following day's proceedings...

For I had been asked to read one of my blog posts as part of the keynote speech at the close of the event.  This was the biggest opportunity of my lifetime.  I knew that I only had a few minutes to engage a captive audience and leave them thinking differently about Down's Syndrome.  I knew I had to get it right. There would be hundreds in the audience, so I had to conquer my nerves and think of the bigger picture.

I decided that I would ditch my usual jeans and unattractive wellie-shoes look, in order to make an impression.  The un-madeup, ponytail-wearer would have to shout loudly in the face of subconscious ideas of what a mother of a child with Down's Syndrome looks like.  So, a new shorter hairdo was adopted, nails were stained a flash of shocking pink, and I dug out some sky high stilletoes to match, that had once been worn to a wedding long ago.  I slapped on some makeup and prayed that I wouldn't fall over my heels on the way to the stage.  

This had an amazing effect. For although I had simply planned to show the world that Mums with children with disabilities are not, by definition 'Frumpy Fuddy Duddies' (I quote Frankie Boyle), it was like putting on a uniform.  I became an even more confident version of myself.  I knew I could speak loud and proud.

Once I had reached the stage an inner voice took over. I began to read What To Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome. Every single ounce of emotion I had felt at the time of the episodes I was reading about came flooding back. The inner voice quaivered and cried, but I  knew in a moment that you were all listening to me, feeling the emotions with me. I felt as if I were talking to old friends, people on my side, and there was nothing to fear in cracking a little here and there.  Once or twice I had to stop and take several deep breaths before repeating my tearful words more clearly, feeling a sense of desperate urgency that none of them should remain unheard.

My fingers numbed, then my hands, probably from the mixture of fear, adrenaline and deep breaths. I began to realise that I would need to get to the end of the speech swiftly before I passed out.  Then I spotted people crying with me, lots of people. My inner voice smiled, feeling carried forward by the support and love in the room.

When I finished, my body shaking wildly by this point, I stepped away from the podium. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted one or two people stand, clapping. I turned and looked up to see the entire hall rising in a wave. This was a standing ovation. People had put away their smart phones and listened. They had connected with the words. They had cried with me because what I had written was for every single one of them in the room.

@AllforAlenya came forward and helped me to my seat, hugging me until I stopped crying and shaking.  The shock still hasn't stopped and tears keep filling my eyes when I think of that evening. The pride will always be there.

Thank you all for giving me the opportunity to talk to you. 

Thank you for listening. 

And thank you for helping me to gently change perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within hearts.


I am so proud too that others have written about their experience of listening to the reading of What to Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome and what it meant for them. 
A Standing Ovation - @MummyBarrow
The Tracks of my Tears - @Wife.Mother.Me