How Britmums Live and the BiBs changed my life

Friday sees the start of a 2 day event that has me nervous and excited and as keen as mustard: yep, that's right It's Britmums Live!

A time to learn, network, make new friends and, if last year was anything to go by, cry. A lot.

I've done a little video of what the 'blogging oscars' meant to me last year, and how it changed my life in small but important ways.

Please come and say hi and forgive me for being useless with names!

You might also like to read Britmums Live: Come and Say Hi

and about what Downs Side Up has been up to this year,

from Westminster to No.10 in Shortlisted in 

Brilliance in Blogging Awards: Our Year

Shortlisted in Brilliance in Blogging Awards

Last year I fell off my stool and jumped around the kitchen when I heard I had been nominated in the Inspire category of the BiBs Awards run by the wonderful Britmums.

This year I was nervous. Would people still find Downs Side Up inspiring now that we weren't a new blog on the block? Had I outstayed my welcome. There are many other fabulous Down's Syndrome blogs to choose from too now after all.

The shorlists were announced yesterday evening and the voting for the finals opened, and I was truly flabberghasted to have been listed, alongside many of my gurus and inspirations. Not just in one category, but 3!!!

Inspire - The content, the voice, the infectious enthusiasm of these bloggers encourages everyone around them. They are seen as leaders in their field and their inspiration is felt through the community.

Commentary - A blog is a bully pulpit and a place to highlight causes, raising awareness and funds, and being a force for positive change. Their topics might be global, local or personal. Whatever their cause, these bloggers did more than their bit, and helped us get involved too.

Outstanding - This blog grabs your attention and won’t let go. It looks good, it reads good, and the author is an active player in the social world.

Well, a glass of Prosecco was consumed in celebration.

How do I feel? Proud, humbled, mostly honoured to be among so many greats and really excited about meeting up with them all in London in June.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog and enjoys it or finds it supportive. I would love you to pop over to the Britmums site and vote for us. It only takes a second to do and will help gently change perceptions of Down's Syndrome from within a few more hearts.

If you'd like to know what Downs Side Up has achieved this year, have a quick browse through the following. It's been a roller coaster, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of year I can tell you.

Now first of all I'd like to say that what I do, the Downs Side Up stuff, is not for any recognition or reward or payment. Basically I saw that the World was fearful of Down's Syndrome, so I began trying to change the World for my daughter and other families, so that they can have the best possible life. I also didn't want any other parents to feel as desperate as I did in the early days, purely out of ignorance and my own fear, so to them I offer tips, advice and hope.

Of course, the blog was how it all began. Downs Side Up is 16 months old now but the blog has long since become the hub of a large wheel of activity. I don't want to bore you, and even I find it hard to remember it all, so here's a list of some of the things I've done this year, in no particular order;

• I've met prospective parents and new parents for coffees and chats, and written to many hundreds of families online, often simply pointing them in the direction of a charity or organisation that can help them.

• The blog was voted 8th Top European Blog and 10th Top Family Blog by Circle of Moms readers.

• I became the Britmums Special Needs Editor, producing a round-up of the best posts around monthly.

• I was honoured to be the keynote speaker at the British Institute of Learning Disabilities annual conference, talking to professionals about my journey.

• I was invited to give Evidence in Parliament at the multi-party Enquiry into the Disability Abortion Law, where I pushed home the lack of support that families get when making such a decision, using anecdotes from those I have chatted to.

• I was asked to speak at the Salvation Army Conference and a local church group working on disability services.

• I've gone into local schools to talk to youngsters about inclusion and Down's Syndrome

• I have met amazing adults with learning disabilities and been inspired by them on my own journey as we have become friends.

• I've produced a little DVD to show to medical professionals, giving guidance on delivering a diagnosis and language used.

• I've posed naked, apart from a pair of mismatched funky socks, to raise funds for our 3 favourite DS charities. Yes, it was terrifying. @Kateonthinice made me do it!

• I've done last minute radio interviews on many subjects from disability benefits to parenting and blogging for BBC Radio Devon, BBC Radio Cornwall, Spin Radio and Heart Radio. 

• Natty became one of the UK's first models with Down's Syndrome. She has worked for Frugi, Jojo Maman Bebe, Eden Project and Scott Dunn.

• I found 7 other models with DS in the UK and organised a meeting at the DSA Head office for a celebratory photoshoot which ended in a lovely positive article in The Sun. See the behind the scenes fun here as our children change the face of advertising and encourage companies to be more inclusive.

• We've chatted on the ITV Daybreak sofa and stolen Kate and Dan's Danish pastries live on air.

• Made 500 people cry and stand in an ovation at Britmums Live after listening to What to Say When a Baby is Born with Down's Syndrome. (They are hoping to get Kleenex to sponsor this year!)

• ITV Westcountry featured us and our chickens in a piece about modelling and blogging.

• We've been featured in Bella Magazine, The Sun, Cornwall Today, The Mail and The Express and Woman's Own.

• I've sat through the night writing open letters to bigots, such as Geoffery Clark and Colin Brewer, there was a Girl Guides Brown Owl too. The letters have gone viral.

• I organise linkies and guest posts sessions to encourage others to write and share their experiences, for blogging is so cathartic.

• I've written articles and guest posts for SEN Magazine, Mummy and Me, My Child and Me, Learning Disability Today, Foundation for People with Learning Disabilities, Elite Magazine, the Makaton Charity, MamaUK and so many more.

• I'm flying to Edinburgh to speak at the launch on 21st March of an incredible, powerful new photographic book called 6% My Photographs, Their Words by Graham Miller which features families and young people with Down's Syndrome. 

• I am spreading the word that 21st March is World Down Syndrome Day and encouraging as many people as possible to get involved to spread awareness.

• Natty has been awarded a Local Hero Child of Courage or Achievement Award for her modelling by Pirate FM.

Well, you get the idea. 

But to have that recognised is... well, I am very proud and it means that my efforts are having an effect.

Downs Side Up now takes up as much time as a full time job, mostly late into the night and when the children are at school. We live in Cornwall, so all that toing and froing to London is a bit of a pain, and we are often out of pocket. I sometimes have to turn things down because I can't fit it all in. We've even talked about moving to enable me to further my work.

I feel I have a duty to carry on, because I can.

And people seem to like listening and reading, so that's a bonus :)

The message is spreading that our children are a wonderful enhancement in life. So essentially all the late nights are worth it. So I'll carry on if you don't mind...

Thank you to everyone who nominated me for this award. I already feel like a winner and am in extraordinary company. I think all finalists should all just have a group hug on the night and a glass of prosecco. And thank you to everyone who has lifted me, inspired me and encouraged me. Those who have helped me through the scary moments when the trolls said unspeakable things about our precious daughter and I nearly gave up through fear. Those who helped spread the word, those who demanded I continue to shine a light into the darkest of shadows.

Thank you too to Britmums who first gave me that chance to find my voice, to Kateonthinice and MarisWorld, Susanna and Jennifer who have taught me so very much along the way.

Thank you. Thank you all.

You can vote here. 

A Bare Naked Update: Downs Side Up Uncovered

Most of you are aware that just over a week ago I was encouraged by Kate @kateonthinice to join in her naked mum a month campaign.  (January and February are out and they are wonderful!)
The idea being we need to celebrate our bodies, whatever they have been through for they are what made us mummies.


I decided to tie the whole thing up with World Down Syndrome Day on March 21st 2013, raise awareness of the condition, wear the different socks that symbolise the event and tell the world that Mums of kids with disabilities are just like everyone else. Not 'fuddy duddies' as some comediens would have you believe.

Well, I got really excited and suddenly I had a photographer and make up artist donating their services and a date was set in stone.

No turning back.

Then a Just Giving page was started and people donated. Definitely no turning back then.

Then a local film maker donated his time too, to capture the preparations and reasons behind the shoot.

OK, OK. I'll do it!


The day came and went. It was nerve-wracking.
I went on BBC radio talking about it.
The video came out, it was brilliantly done.

Many people donated £2 via a text message, people I have never met.

An elderly neighbour of a former colleague donated £50 because 'she wants to see her money used well before she dies'.

A lady we met on holiday a few years back sent me £200. I guess because she was inspired by Natty.

I can't describe how emotional that feels, the generosity of so many wonderful folk.

Where are the naked photos I hear you cry?

Well this week the photos came in.

Eeeek!

Well now I have a whole new set of emotions to play with, even scarier than doing the shoot...

Dare I? 
Should I?
Is that tooooo much?
Ooouhhh!
Which ones do I share?
What shall we do with them?
Oh gosh, I didn't realise they looked like that in that light!
What will people say?
Is that one offensive?
I really need to do some exercise!
I didn't have to suck my tummy in 20 years ago!
I love that one, but does hubby?
Is he just being polite?
Will I embarrass my kids? (They said no.)

So for now, I'll mull them over. Peek at them every now and again. We have another month until World DS Day and I promise to share at least, well, a few of them then. 

Don't worry, I'll get over my stage fright.

Text DSUU47£amount to 70070 if you'd like to back the Downs Side Up charity fundraiser for Down Syndrome International, Downs Sydnrome Association and our local support group.

"Celebrating our wonderful bodies that birthed our beautiful children."

Downs Side Up Uncovered

It's that time of year when we begin thinking about World Down Syndrome Day which is coming up on the 21st March. The date represents the 3 of chromosome 21 that individuals with Down's Syndrome have. 

To raise awareness it is also Lots Of Socks Day, or Different Socks Day as I prefer to think of it. For we are all unique and play an equal role in life's colourful tapestry.

We can all get involved in this, wear different funky socks, dare to be bold, get your school involved, your colleagues.

I've decided to do some fundraising for 3 major charities; our local support group, the CDSSG, the Down's Syndrome Association who help families on a national level and Down Syndrome International who work globally.

What am I going to do? Run a marathon? Cycle from Lands End to John O Groats? Sit in a bath of baked beans? Sky dive? 

No. I don't have the time or the stamina for the first two options and I'm not very keen on beans, and I did a sky dive for charity when I was at college, so...

I'm going to be taking my clothes off for a photo shoot. I'll be protecting my modesty with a multitude of differently coloured socks.  Yep, that's right, I'm getting my kit off Calendar Girls style.

Yep, that's right, I'm getting my kit off Calendar Girls style.

OR TEXT DSUU 47 £AMOUNT TO 70070 TO DONATE

How on earth did this all came about? It's is a question I have been asking myself the last couple of days as I nervously prepare for the hoto session.

It began last year at the Britmums Live Brilliance in Blogging Awards ceremony, where I met Kate @kateonthinice for the first time. Kate and I really hit it off and shared a giggle over a glass of bubbles. We are both quite different, but our personalities slotted together, and it felt like I had always known her. It was a very rare evening where we felt like women, friends, writers, not only Mums.

Kate's blog The Naked Mum is a wonderfully supportive community for Mums trying to value every aspect of their lives, whilst supporting one another. She's had an idea to ask one blogger a month to pose naked, a way of showing that we are not just mums, but women, wives and partners too.

Kate says we should try things outside our comfort zone. It's better than regretting not doing them later on in life. And after all, in writing a blog, one lays ones feelings bare every time you press the publish button.

But more than that I want to show that Mums of children with Down's Syndrome, in fact any disability, are just like everyone else. We have wobbly bits and bits we like to hide, there are the unwanted pounds, places we are proud of, bits we don't mind flaunting, bits that have been stretched beyond return but most of all our wonderful bodies have made and nourished our beautiful children, just the same as everyone else. I am yet to find the green scales replacing skin.

Natty gets her first taste of breast milk at 4 days old

I remember when Natty was born, that I felt ashamed of my body,  foolishly guilty that it had not got it quite right. I have also suffered 5 miscarriages. By getting naked for this year's WDSD I am burying that ridiculous notion and I hope it helps other women celebrate the wonder that is creating all and every life.

I also help to raise awareness for World Down Syndrome Day and raise some money for those wonderful charities. Please sponsor me.

Hayley x